


Hitchhiker

by laurasfantasia



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Pilot!Clarke, Slow Burn, VeganCafeOwner!Lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-18 19:23:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5940283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurasfantasia/pseuds/laurasfantasia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke's love life has fallen apart yet again after a disastrous first date with Finn and she is ready to vow off all dates forever - until she happens to get picked up on the road to LA by an overworked vegan cafe owner named Lexa. </p><p>or</p><p>How many times can Clarke deny she wants to go on a date with Lexa? (Current count: 14)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Angeles National Forest

“Fuck off, Finn!”

His mouth opened like a goldfish before he draped one arm over the passenger seat, leaning across the car as it inched along besides Clarke.

“Come on Clarke, don’t be like this…”

“ _Don’t be like this_ ?” she repeated, her voice high-pitched and whining in a mimic of his. She stomped along the dusty side of the road, turning her face away from him and lifting her chin. In the distance she could see the outline of LA’s skyscrapers. How many people in that city? And she had chosen to go on a date with _this_ guy? “You’re unbelievable!”

“It’s really not as bad as it seems—”

She spun to scowl at him, her hand hitting the car roof with a bang. It jerked to an unsteady stop and another car whizzed past with a honk, making his shake.

“Yes it is you bastard! You have a fucking girlfriend!”

He winced and she rolled her eyes.

“Well yeah technically, but she has been in England for six months and she’s probably not coming back—”

“Oh my god you are such an asshole!”

She started walking again, kicking a stone. It spun out into the road then tumbled off the other side, down a cliff.

“You can’t walk all the way to LA…”

“I said fuck off!”

“It’s 20 miles still!”

“And I’d rather walk every step of that than travel with you.” He sighed loudly and she marched on, fists clenched. “I’m serious. Go. I am not getting back in that car.”

“I thought you liked me—“

“Yeah I did! But so does your girlfriend! Not that she’ll like you after I tell her you’ve been going on dates behind her back.” She could see him hesitate out of the corner of her eye and seized on the opportunity. “Leave now and I might forget to mention it. _Might_.”

“I... well, I guess. Just… phone me if you need to? I’ll come back out to pick you up.”

“Go before I start smashing windows.”

“Okay okay, I’m going. I _am_ sorry, Clarke. I really like you.”

She crouched to pick up a large stone and bounced it in one hand, scowling up at him. He lowered his eyes. His car increased speed, gradually at first then faster. She shook her head in disbelief as it spun off, the sun reflecting on the red roof, and threw the stone. It fell far short, bouncing once on hot tarmac before tumbling down the cliff.

_"UGH!"_

She gripped her backpack with one hand and marched on, sticking her thumb out into the road. Even making small talk with a stinky truck driver blaring out country music would be better than sitting in silence with that sleazy liar.

A few cars roared by, none even pausing. The sun beat down on her bare shoulders and cicadas chirped in the surrounding shrubbery and trees. She tugged her phone out of her pocket and swiped to unlock it. A text from Bellamy was waiting.

_How’s Mr Charming and his lovely forest picnic?_

She stabbed out a short reply.

**_More like Mr Cheat. Bastard._ **

A reply pinged back only seconds later.

_Dude, he cheated on you on a first date?_

_Wait you’re in a forest. How??_

**_He’s got a girlfriend!_ **

_Ahh the fucker!_

_Sorry Clarke, sucks. Drinks later?_

Clarke stared at the screen, considering as another car whizzed past. She could ask Bellamy to come pick her up. He would without hesitation - but then he’d give her that look to remind her of the thoughts he had voiced on Finn the air force boy just last night and suggest the need to control her temper.

He’d seemed nice. She’d let him get close - the first person to get close since Wells. Two months of casual conversation leading up to a spectacular first date, all ruined by an offhand question and some squirming until he’d given up the truth.

She’d let herself be fooled.

Clarke heard a car engine slow before she saw it. She craned her neck around, squinting against the afternoon sun. It was an old car, with rust starting to show around the frame edges. Behind the wheel was a girl about the same age as Clarke. She leaned over to manually crank the window open, hitting the _off_ button on a radio blaring out heavy metal.

“Are you heading to LA?”

Clarke forced a smile, pushing aside her anger for now. This looked better than a truck driver, at least - even if she did have questionable music taste.

“Yep.”

The door popped open. “Come on. It’s too hot to be walking.”

Clarke slid inside, slinging her backpack off and into the back seat. The girl glanced over, opened her mouth, closed it again, then put her foot down on the accelerator. Her brown hair hung with braids and she wore _way_ too much eyeliner.

“What?” Clarke asked.

The girl gave a tiny shrug, turning fast around a tight corner to continue their descent down the mountain. “I’ve never picked up a hitchhiker before. Is it rude to ask someone why she’s walking alone from Angeles Forest to LA?”

“Before you’ve asked her name, probably.” The girl’s eyebrows furrowed and Clarke quickly waved a hand. She had no desire to try and find a third ride in one day. “You saved me from a six hour walk home. Ask whatever.”

“Okay, well - what is your name?”

“Clarke.”

“My name is Lexa. Why are you walking alone from Angeles Forest to LA?”

Clarke bit her lip to hold in a smirk at the repeated question. And Bellamy said _she_ was blunt.

“Date gone wrong,” she replied, choosing her words carefully. She wasn’t about to spill her guts to this stranger. “Why are you driving alone from Angeles Forest to LA?”

Lexa blinked several times, her eyes darting away from the road to glance in Clarke’s direction.

“I had to pick up supplies for my cafe.”

“From a forest?” Clarke asked, lifting one eyebrow.

“Vegan cafe. I won’t feed my customers with mass-produced garbage. Your date left you on a mountain?”

“I threatened to break the windows in his car if he didn’t leave.”

For the first time a smile perked up on Lexa’s lips. Some of the tension seemed to seep out of her shoulders.

“What did he do?”

Clarke leaned back in her seat, turning her head to stare out of the window. They were almost on level ground now, with houses peering out among the trees. Her fury at Finn’s revelation had faded to a simmering in her stomach.

“He was a dick.”

“I find that a lot of men are. Some women, too,” Lexa added, almost as an afterthought - but something in her voice told Clarke it was anything but.

“What-”

Lexa reached out to turn the radio back on, silencing Clarke’s question. Fine. Nothing like talk of past relationships to end a conversation.

Screeching guitar and thunderous drums filled the car as they rolled onwards to downtown LA. With every mile that blurred past them, Clarke’s curiosity grew. An ash tray sat on the dashboard, but so sparklingly clean it couldn’t have been used recently. Green stickers covered the back windows, too small to make out the text or logo. Snaking down Lexa’s right arm like lightning were several raised red scars, only half covered by tattoos. The heavy metal shifted jarringly into country music but Lexa didn’t even seem to notice, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel in time with it.

As the car turned onto the I-5, Lexa turned down the volume.

“Where do you want to be dropped?”

“Uh - hang on.”

Clarke pulled out her phone again.

**_Yes drinks. Where are you?_ **

Bellamy replied with a snapchat of a can of beer perched in the sand.

“Are you going anywhere near Santa Monica? If not don’t worry, I can catch the bus.”

“I can take you to Santa Monica,” Lexa said without hesitation.

"Ah, great."

Lexa hadn’t smiled once since the mention of Clarke potentially smashing Finn’s windows and Clarke had been expecting to get pushed out of the car as soon as it was justifiable. Five minutes of crawling through LA traffic later, she had successfully fought off her natural instinct to avoid small talk and attempted conversation again.

“So how long have you been working in that cafe? Do you get sent on supply runs often?”

“I opened it last year.”

“Wait - it’s your cafe?”

“Yes, it’s mine.”

Another smile brushed across Lexa’s lips, this time tinged with pride. Clarke's eyebrows lifted into her forehead. Lexa couldn't be more then two years older than her.

“Wow, that's pretty amazing. Is it doing well?”

Lexa shrugged. “We have some competition. There is an ice cream shop a few doors down. We will beat them, though. What is your job?”

“I’m a pilot - well, almost. I’m in my last year of training.”

Lexa nodded - altogether a more sober reaction than Clarke normally got. Nearly everyone was impressed.

“I have never been on a plane.”

Clarke leaned forward and stared at Lexa, her mouth hanging open. “ _What?_ How?”

“I have always lived in California. My parents own a farm a few hours north and couldn’t leave it. Then I moved to Los Angeles and I have my cafe.”

“You don’t ever take a holiday?”

She shook her head. “I go to the farm for Thanksgiving and Christmas. The rest of the year, I need to be at my cafe.”

“Surely you can leave it for a week. It’s not going to burn down without you.”

“It might. I need to be there. It’s my responsibility. It would be nice to visit somewhere new, but-” she shrugged again “-I can’t.”

“If you could, where would you go? One flight out of LAX - to where?”

Lexa chewed the corner of her lip as she thought and Clarke watched. This girl was cute. More so now she was actually speaking. Not that that should make any difference - Finn had proven once again that she had terrible taste in dates. She should probably give up altogether. Even so, she smiled encouragingly at Lexa as she waited for a reply.

“The Grand Canyon,” Lexa said, at the same time as she indicated and the car rolled to a stop.

Clarke looked around. Santa Monica beach stretched out on her right. She had been so engrossed in the conversation that she hadn’t even noticed.

“Thank you. Really. That would have been a long walk.”

She reached behind the seat for her bag, pulling it forward.

“You are welcome, Clarke. I hope you have better luck on your next date.”

Lexa smiled again, dimples appearing in her cheeks. Clarke took a second too long to reply.

“Thanks. Good luck with your cafe!”

Lexa’s car sped off. Clarke watched it for a few moments, oddly disappointed. Then her phone beeped.

_Clarke! How long does it take to get away from asshole and join me for a beer?_

She shook her head, turned away from the road and wandered onto the beach in search of Bellamy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the premise of this is based on three things:  
> 1) scattered throughout the story, various prompts: hitchhiker ride au, accidentally taking each others bags au, called the wrong number while drunk au (from ragnaroked on tumblr).  
> 2) my own real-life experience of hitchhiking and taking the wrong bag. My version of it is less meet-cute and more 'I'm sorry people who saved us from being stranded at the Grand Canyon who I'll never see again we didn't mean to take your food!'  
> 3) taking inspiration from canon as much as possible - there will be many nods.
> 
> Currently this is planned as a short story with about 6 chapters, but I'm going to see how it goes and whether I get inspiration to continue further. I shall update the list of characters as they feature - I've worked out roles for quite a few characters but will have to wait and see how many of them appear. Working out characterisation outside the world of The 100 has proved somewhat difficult, hopefully I've managed that okay :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy, kudos/comments are much appreciated ^^


	2. Bud Light and Crystal Meth

“Hey Clarke! We’re over here!”

Clarke grinned, waving to acknowledge Bellamy’s shout and traipsing through the sand to where he sat with Octavia. A stack of books on propulsion systems had been abandoned on a blanket in favour of a 6-pack of Bud Light. Poor choice. Clarke snatched one towards her anyway, dropping down on the warm sand. She cracked it open and chugged half of it down in one.

“Whoa, was it really that bad?” Octavia asked, her eyebrows raised. 

Clarke grimaced at the bad taste and nodded. “Great day. Lovely picnic and views. Then I ask him what he got up to in England a couple months ago. I assumed he’d say he was there on holiday, or maybe visiting friends. But no, mumbled and muttered until he finally admitted he was visiting his girlfriend!”

Octavia rolled her eyes but Bellamy chuckled, shaking his head.

“When are you going to start letting me pick your dates?”

“Oh like who? That Murphy idiot you were so chummy with last year?”

“Hey now,” Bellamy protested, pressing one hand to his heart. He gulped down the last of his beer and started burying it in the sand. “He seemed like a cool guy at first! And actually I was thinking Octavia here, keep her out of trouble-”

“Oi!”

A wave of sand flew up at Bellamy from Octavia and he buried his face in his hands, a broad grin visible at the sides of his face. 

“I’m not going up against Lincoln,” Clarke laughed, passing over her half-empty beer to him once the sand settled and pulling her bag forward to unzip it. “Also, you’re not allowed to buy beer again. Octavia, why did you let him get that stuff? It’s vile.”

“Please, like he listens to me. You’re the only one who can change his mind-”

“What the fuck?” Clarke interrupted, staring down into the bag. “Uh… guys…”

Bellamy leaned closer to peer inside. “Did a squirrel camp out in your bag- oh!”

The two of them stared inside. Two large clear bags of white powder sat at the top.

“Y’know I wasn’t sure about that Finn guy, but I wouldn’t have expected  _ this _ from him,” Bellamy muttered.

Clarke turned the bag around to check the front and her heart dropped into her stomach. Her Arcadia Airlines pin was not there. Instead, green badges and pins covered the front with tiny vegan and animal rights slogans.

“This isn’t Finn’s.”

“Then whose is it?”

“What are you guys going on about?” Octavia demanded, tugging the bag towards her.

“It belongs to the girl who gave me a ride back to LA.”

Bellamy frowned at her. “You hitchhiked? Alone?”

“Not the problem here Bellamy! What am I meant to do with this stuff?”

Clarke tugged aside the packages of white powder. Beneath was a bag of leaves and another bag, but this one with red powder.

“I’ve never seen anything like that before. And this isn’t weed,” Clarke said, pointing at the leaves.

“You guys.”

Clarke and Bellamy looked up at Octavia and spoke together. “What?”

She shook her head and pulled out one of the packages of white powder.

“Whoa, what are you doing? Hide that!” Bellamy hissed, leaning over to try and grab it back.

Octavia turned her back on him and pulled the package open, sticking a finger inside.

“ _ Octavia! _ ”

She licked her finger. “Yep. Salt.”

“Like crystal meth?” Bellamy demanded, snatching the bag back and burying it in the bag. He looked Octavia up and down as if waiting for her to convulse.

“No. Like sea salt. For cooking. And this is chilli powder, or paprika. This is tarragon.”

“That… would make a lot more sense,” Clarke mumbled, sitting back and attempting to control the redness rising in her cheeks. Bellamy stayed crouched, seemingly stunned. “She runs a vegan cafe. Wait - that means she has my bag! With my exam notes!”

“You took exam notes on a date?”

“Of course she did, she’s Clarke,” Bellamy said, zipping the bag firmly shut again and passing it over. “You can have my notes.”

Clarke frowned at him and he shrugged.

“Just trying to help! So who is this lady? Is she going to track you down and accuse you of stealing?”

Clarke snorted at the image of Lexa banging down her door and demanding her ingredients back. She couldn’t exactly say she was disappointed at the thought of meeting Lexa again, but the circumstances could be better. “Very possibly. But not before I track her down first and get my notes back. The exam is next week! I need those.”

She pulled out her phone and was halfway through typing ‘vegan cafe LA’ into Google when Octavia plucked it out of her hand.

“Nope.”

“Hey!”

“If you start searching now you’re not going to stop until you find her - and I’m not going alone to judo tonight.”

“Take Lincoln.”

“It’s called ladies’ night for a reason, Clarke.” Octavia pocketed the phone, rolling out of reach when Clarke reached for her. “You’ll get it back after judo.”

“Bellamy, tell your sister to stop stealing people’s phones.”

“Bellamy, tell your bestie she can’t always get her own way.”

Bellamy scrambled to his feet, grinning as he backed away from them both. “No chance. I’m going to buy more beer.”

“No Bud Light!” Octavia shouted after him, dodging Clarke’s grab again. 

Clarke sighed and rolled back to lie on the sand, wrapping the strap of the bag around her wrist in case. She eyed the slogans on the stickers and badges. 

_ Cows are for mooing not bbqing _

_ Save the beezzz _

_ I’d rather go naked than wear fur _

_ Save the energy, save the world _

_ Eat pussy it’s vegan _

Clarke snorted down a laugh, ignoring Octavia’s curious stare. Lexa had seemed cold and distant for most of their journey except for the very end - but this bag alone was proof she cared about much more than she let on. It was just a shame she never got a chance to enjoy the earth she was so keen on saving. 

Octavia had leaned over to read the pins and now leaned back, a smirk playing at her lips.

“Had a nice trip down the mountain, then?”

“No. I mean - yes, but - no, Octavia,” Clarke said, stumbling over her words. “No more dates. Anyway, she’s probably not single.”

“You could always ask. I could always ask for you.”

“No.”

“Might have to come along and meet her when you exchange bags. Protection, in case she gets angry about the stolen bag.”

“Octavia...” Clarke growled.

Bellamy dropped another 6-pack in the sand - Miller, this time.

“What are you arguing about now?”

Clarke sent Octavia a warning glare. “Nothing. Phone.”

Octavia shrugged as she grabbed a beer, still smirking. “We can talk about it later.”

Clarke shook her head and closed her eyes, stretching her arms up above her head to catch the rays of sun. The hunt for Lexa would have to wait a few hours. There couldn’t be that many vegan cafes in LA... right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please raise your glasses to slogan-creators the world over for amusing me greatly as I searched for ones appropriate to Lexa.


	3. Google Maps

“How are there so many vegan cafes? Isn’t this meant to be a speciality?” Clarke asked the empty lounge of their apartment, scrolling down the list on her laptop. Outside, sunset was almost complete with the final orange rays stretching across the sky. Her top still stuck to her back from sweat thanks to a particularly tough session at judo. It had been difficult not to picture Finn's face on the punchbag. 

Bellamy wandered in with a tub of noodles and dropped down next to her, putting his feet up on the coffee table.

“Search for her name as well?”

_vegan cafe los angeles lexa_

She clicked the first result and shook her head. “This is in San Francisco, not LA. This is hopeless!”

Bellamy leaned over, typing with one hand and chewing loudly as the same time.

_vegan cafe la salt paprika tarragon_

“You’re useless,” Clarke muttered, elbowing him and pulling her laptop back.

He grinned at her with a mouth full of noodles, then offered her the tub. She shook her head.

“You stink, y’know. Have you showered since judo?”

“No.”

“You walked right through the door and started googling, didn’t you?”

“Yep. I need those notes.”

She pulled a notebook closer and started jotting down the addresses of the top ten.

“Please tell me you’re not going to walk into every cafe in LA tomorrow and ask if Lexa works there.”

“No. I’m going to phone up every vegan cafe in LA tonight and ask if Lexa works there.”

“You know that’s going to take hours. We’re flying at 9am tomorrow.”

Clarke ignored him, but it was difficult not to see his point. She racked her brains for any extra clues in her brief conversation with Lexa about the cafe.

“Oh!”

A lightbulb flashing before her eyes, she typed quickly into google maps.

_ice cream shop los angeles_

The number of icons on screen more than tripled. She printed the page, then went back to her vegan cafe map and printed that as well.

“Uh… you’re going to phone every cafe _and_ ice cream shop in LA?”

Clarke shook her head, hurrying across the room to the printer and grabbing both pieces of paper. She lay one on top of the other and began to mark the cafes onto the ice cream shop map with a blue highlighter.

“She said,” Clarke mumbled, chewing her lip as she concentrated, “it was next to an ice cream shop. So I should be able to work out… look!” She held up the map. Of the twenty or thirty odd markers previously present, she had cut it down to eleven.

Bellamy nodded, offering a thumbs up. “Great. Let’s get on it.” He snatched Clarke’s phone off the coffee table.

“Wait - what do you mean? You’re not-”

He had already punched in the first number and held the phone out on speaker, winking once in Clarke’s direction. Ringing filled the apartment.

_“Hello Green Roots Cafe?”_

“Good evening, Green Roots Cafe,” Bellamy replied cheerfully. “Does Lexa work there?”

_“Who?”_

“Lexa? Lexie? Alexandra?” he asked, holding the phone away from Clarke when she tried to snatch it from his hand.

_“No, sorry.”_

“Okay thanks, bye!”

“Why are you doing this?” Clarke growled, crossing her arms over her chest.

He gave her a genuine smile this time, his eyes warm. “Because if I don’t make it fun and distract you with teasing, you’ll be stressing over it all night. Relax, Clarke. You’ll get your notes back. And you’ll come top of the class as usual.”

He pulled her laptop closer and dialled the next number. Clarke sighed, rolling backwards to lie flat on the floor. She pulled a textbook closer to her from under the table and began to flick through half-heartedly, only partially listening to Bellamy enquiring after Lexa or Lexie or Alexandra or any of the other names he came up with. Each time he ended the call with a cheerful farewell, her heart plummeted.

It was true that she was anxious about the notes - she would be pissed at herself if she never got them back and had to start from scratch. She would be even more pissed if she got a substandard grade and risked her scholarship. But buried beneath that was an extra scrap of anxiety at the thought of seeing Lexa again - or not seeing her again, if this was a dead end. She was the polar opposite of fun-loving Finn, yet somehow in those last few minutes she had felt a connection - as if Lexa had opened up just a little bit.

What if she met her again and it turned out she’d made it all up in her head? What if Lexa scowled at her for taking the wrong bag?

What if she felt that connection again? What then?

 _Nothing,_ she told herself firmly.

“Lexa’s there?”

An irritated voice snapped back on the other end of the line.

_“That’s what I said. She’s busy. What do you want?”_

Clarke scrambled to her feet and Bellamy grinned at her victoriously.

“Ah! My friend - there was a mix-up, hitchhiking-”

Clarke grabbed the phone from him and turned off speaker, pressing it to her ear.

“Hi, can I speak to Lexa?”

_“Who’s this now? I just said she’s busy!”_

“I only need two minutes-”

_“Phone again tomorrow.”_

The line went dead. Clarke lowered the phone and stared at it, trying not to be too offended. What kind of people did Lexa employ?

“They need to work on their customer service,” Bellamy muttered, leaning back in their grubby sofa and pressing a button on the TV remote to turn it on.

“Which cafe was that?”

“Huh?”

“What was the name of the cafe?”

“Uh - something trees. Eleven, twelve?”

“12 Trees.”

She added the number to her phone then examined her printouts to check the address. Just north of Santa Monica - perfect. If she got the same response on the phone tomorrow morning, she would just walk there. Lexa couldn’t ignore her if she was in the same building.

“All happy now?” Bellamy asked. “Found your vegan princess?”

“My _what_?”

He winked. “So how hot are we talking here?”

Clarke grimaced. Octavia _had_ told him. 

“I’m just going to exchange bags. I’ll probably never see her again after that.”

Except with the cafe being so close… she could see her. If she wanted to. If Lexa didn’t bark her head off tomorrow.

“Whatever you say, Clarke. Do me a favour?”

“What?”

“Go take a shower. You stink worse than Octavia on that camping trip.”

She rose from the sofa, smacked him over the head and shut the bathroom door behind her harder than she needed to. As she stripped down and steam from the shower filled the room, she glanced behind her into the mirror at the scars on her back and shoulder. Lexa’s scars had looked like this - twisted red lines like veins, her skin tight and stretched between the marks. It had to be caused by a burn like her own - but how?

She shook her head rapidly and turned away from the mirror to step into the shower. What a great conversation starter. _Hey Lexa, were you in a car crash or a burning building?_

The steam surrounded her and she shoved her head under the hot water, trying to release her thoughts. It was only the disappointment of Finn being a douche making her think like this. Tomorrow she would have her real bag back - then it would be study time for the exam. No more wondering about the mysterious girl who had offered her one ride and somehow got stuck on her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of my readers know anything about flying planes, PLEASE talk to me so I can pick your brain.


	4. 12 Trees Cafe

_If I just believe it  
_ _There's nothing to it  
_ _I believe I can fly  
_ _I believe I can touch the sky..._

“For fuck’s sake Octavia,” Clarke grunted, blinking against the darkness and scrabbling on her bedside table for the buzzing phone with the wrong ringtone. “My phone, _my_ ringtone-”

_I think about it every night and day  
_ _Spread my wings and fly away  
_ _I believe I can-_

Her hand clasped the phone and she hit the answer button, bringing it to her ear and rolling over in bed.

“It’s two in the fucking morning and I’m flying tomorrow. What the hell do you want?”

“Uh - oh. I’m sorry.”

Clarke squinted up at the ceiling. That wasn’t Octavia’s voice. She glanced at the screen, but it wasn’t a number she recognised. “Who is this?”

“Um, it’s Lexa. Is this Clarke?”

Clarke fought through the fog in her brain and recalled the events of yesterday. Lexa. The bag.

“Lexa. Right. Yes it’s me. How did you get my number?”

“You took the wrong bag.”

“I know. How did you get my number?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line and a shuffle of what sounded like paper. Clarke pushed herself into a sitting position in an attempt to stop her eyelids drooping.

“There were books in your bag. One of them had your full name in. I found you in the phone directory. Well. And other people too.”

Clarke drew her sheets up to her chin, trying not to smile. Was it possible that Lexa had also felt that connection? Why else would you make such an effort to call someone at this time of night?

“You’ve been phoning strangers up at two in the morning?”

“Well it’s an emergency. I need my bag back. We ran out of tarragon.”

Clarke snorted, not quietly enough to hide it from Lexa.

“You need tarragon to serve customers at 2am?”

“No, but I need it for tomorrow morning. I only realised it was the wrong bag about an hour ago when I went to unpack it.”

“Jesus, you’re still working?” Clarke asked, her heart sinking as she realised that Lexa wasn’t joking around. This was definitely not a weird late-night booty call. She was genuinely concerned about the missing tarragon.

“Yes. Can I meet you tomorrow morning? Before 8am?”

“Um… I guess.”

“At the cafe? 12 Trees, on St. Martin Avenue.”

Clarke slid back down her bed, tapping the wall with her spare hand.

“Sure.”

“Great. Knock on the door any time after seven. Thanks Clarke.”

The line went dead. Clarke sighed, staring at the cloudy background of her phone. She tapped into the settings quickly to delete Octavia’s ringtone update. She hesitated over deleting the new number in her call history then stopped. She dropped the phone with a thump on the bedside table and rolled over, pulling the sheets over her head. She shut her eyes firmly and ignored the unpleasant thumping of her heart.

* * *

12 Trees Cafe stood on the corner of a street of clothes shops. Its sign was hand-carved from wood and in its windows were a multitude of lush green plants. Just a few steps further down the street was the ice cream shop Lexa had mentioned. Ice Nation had been painted a pale blue, with a sign sticking out into the street declaring its goods of organic ice cream and frozen yoghurt. Their ice cream _did_ look good - but Clarke walked past it to stand in front of 12 Trees. She hefted Lexa’s bag up and rapped hard on the door.

There was a shout from inside then the door swung open. A woman with cropped black hair and a large tattoo curving around her eye frowned at her. A badge pinned to a green apron named her Indra.

“Are you Clarke the hitchhiker?”

She recognised the voice - this was the woman who had put the phone down on her yesterday. Clarke lifted her chin and met Indra’s eyes.

“Yes, I’m Clarke.”

Indra looked her up and down then stepped to the side, shutting the door quickly after Clarke stepped inside and immediately returning to a table stacked high with sandwich supplies. She picked up a large knife and started slicing tomatoes, but her eyes never left Clarke.

“Where’s Lexa?” Clarke asked, swivelling on her feet to take in the inside of the cafe.

A mish mash of different tables and chairs were arranged at the back, with two well-loved sofas in the window by the plants. A large wooden counter was half stocked with salad and baguettes and wraps. The smell of freshly baked bread wafted through the room, making Clarke wish she had eaten more for breakfast than a packet of trail mix. But Lexa was nowhere to be seen.

“In the back room.”

Clarke took a step further into the cafe but stopped when Indra spoke again.

“She was very upset to find that her bag was missing.”

Clarke turned her head to find Indra glaring at her, balancing the knife on her fingertips. She gritted her teeth.

“Well she’s not the only one. I need my bag too.”

“Lexa did not take your bag. You took hers.”

“I know, and then I hunted out the cafe and tried to give it back. Then _you_ put the phone down on me.”

A soft voice pierced the rising tension. “You phoned yesterday? Before I phoned you?”

Clarke spun to find Lexa standing in a doorway of beds at the back of the room. Her hair was tied up in a loose bun with her braids hanging loose, and she hadn’t yet added the copious eyeliner she had been wearing yesterday.

“Yes. I needed my bag back. It has my exam notes in.”

Lexa nodded, brushing floury hands on her apron and stepping behind the counter. She pulled up a bag so similar to the one on Clarke’s back and held it out. Clarke walked forward and pulled it closer, offering up Lexa’s bag. They simultaneously opened their own bags and sighed to see the contents safe. Two books on aerodynamics and a thick notebook filled with three biros’ worth of ink. Oh. And a handwritten note from Finn. She scowled into the bag and zipped it up quickly, slinging it onto her back.

“Thanks,” she said, turning towards the door.

“Wait-”

Clarke glanced back. Lexa had already pulled out all the herb and spice packages from her bag and stacked them up on the counter, but now her eyes were on Clarke.

“Would you like breakfast?”

Behind Clarke, Indra coughed loudly.

“Breakfast?”

“As a thank you, for coming here so early. And an apology for waking you last night.” Lexa waved a hand at the doorway to the backroom. “We have pastries almost ready.”

“Lexa, we need to get ready-” Indra said.

“We will be. Clarke?”

She was halfway through the door already, waiting for Clarke to follow. Clarke checked the clock on the wall then nodded and walked after her. She heard Indra tutting before the bead curtain tinkled around her, blocking out the sound.

A teenage boy sat at a table with a tube of green icing and about a hundred cakes, his face screwed up in concentration. Lexa leaned over his shoulder and nodded in approval.

“Good work, Aden. Watch the edges.”

She continued past him, pulling on a thick pair of gloves and tugging open the handle of a large oven. A tray of steaming croissants emerged, filling the room with yet another burst of that smell of fresh baking. Lexa set the tray down on a table and pulled a sheet of greaseproof paper off a dispenser attached to the wall to wrap one in.

“Here. You won’t taste a better croissant outside of France.”

Clarke accepted it and took a bite. Hot buttery flakes melted on her tongue and she nodded, making a sound of approval. Lexa continued to wrap the croissants and Aden disappeared into the main cafe area with his cakes.

“We have a reviewer visiting today,” Lexa explained, stacking the croissants high. “If he likes us we'll be entered in a TV competition. We're making zucchini and tarragon soup.”

She left the wrapped croissants and turned to a large vat. When she lifted the lid it belched steam and a gentle sizzling sound.

Clarke swallowed the last bite of her breakfast courtesy of Lexa. “It all looks great here. I'm sure he'll like you.”

Lexa shot her a small, grateful smile. She set down the giant spoon she had been using to stir the soup then pulled out the packet of tarragon from her apron pocket. She sliced the end open and started chopping it into fine pieces.

“You know when I opened your bag, I didn't realise what it was. I just saw packages of powder and plants…”

Lexa’s knife paused for a moment then she continued chopping. Her gaze spun around to eye Clarke.

“You thought I had _drugs_?”

Clarke shrugged, disconcerted by the neutral expression being sent her way. Then Lexa cracked a grin. She leaned back and opened her mouth to speak - but a loud clatter echoed through the kitchen, shortly followed by a screech. Her elbow had hit the vat of soup, tumbling it sideways off the counter and all over the floor.

“No - no!”

Clarke jumped forward but Lexa had already grabbed the sides of the metal vat. She shoved it back onto the hob and bent over, pressing her hands into her apron.

“Lexa?!”

Indra appeared in the doorway. She sent a furious glare at Clarke and hurried forward, but Lexa waved her away. She straightened, but tears sparkled in her eyes and her palms were bright red. A pool of green liquid with chunks of zucchini spread across the floor. Lexa took one step towards it but Clarke held out a hand.

“You need to put your hands under water. Now.”

“It’s fine, the soup-”

“No, you’ll make it worse.” Clarke walked past her to the sink and turned on the cold tap. She checked the temperature then pointed at it. “Water. My mom is a doctor. I know what I’m talking about.”

Lexa ground her teeth but marched forward and pushed her hands under the stream of water. She hissed as soon as the water touched the burns but kept her hands in place.

“The soup,” she grated. “We need to finish the soup. It’s our speciality. It’s his favourite. I told him we’d have it ready.”

“I can’t do the soup and the sandwiches, Lexa,” Indra said, hovering behind her shoulder. “Aden’s left for school. We shouldn’t have distractions in here today,” she added, staring pointedly at Clarke.

Lexa pulled her hands away from the water but Clarke pressed on her shoulder, pushing her back in place.

“Do you want to end up in hospital with second degree burns?”

Lexa peered back over her shoulder at the pool of ruined soup, her eyes wide with worry.

“Call Titus.”

“He’s visiting his son.”

“Anya?”

“She has class this morning. You know that.”

Clarke glanced around the room for a clock. She didn’t know the time. She was meant to be flying at nine. But she couldn’t leave like this. Not when Lexa had that look on her face. Before she had thought it through, she was speaking.

“I’ll make the soup. Just tell me what to do.”

Lexa and Indra exchanged doubtful expressions. Indra opened her mouth, already shaking her head.

“No-”

“Okay, Clarke,” Lexa said, cutting off Indra. “Go into the store cupboard. Get five onions, a bunch of celery and fifteen zucchini.”

* * *

Half an hour and approximately thirty-one curse words later, Clarke stood in front of a new vat of soup glaring across at Lexa. Lexa frowned as she peered inside, her hands covered in cling film.

“Get me a spoon.”

Clarke bit her tongue and yanked out several drawers until she found one. She dipped it into the soup - the creamiest, greenest soup she had ever seen - and offered it to Lexa. Lexa levelled almost a warning gaze at her then took a sip.

Zucchini chopped too narrow. Zucchini chopped too wide. Onions under-cooked. Forgotten garlic. The wrong blender setting. Who knew so much could be wrong about a soup? Every little thing she had done Lexa had added some criticism. Only the raw red skin on Lexa’s palms and the desperation in her eyes had stopped Clarke shouting that she could do it all herself.

“Perfect,” Lexa breathed, her eyes closed and the corners of her lips turned up.

“Thank god for that.”

Lexa’s eyes flashed open. The next thing Clarke knew, she was being enveloped in a hug. Lexa’s hands pressed into her back and her braids brushed against Clarke’s face. They smelt of pineapple.

“Thank you, Clarke.”

Tentatively, Clarke hugged back, trying not to notice how well Lexa’s body melded into hers. Her irritation at Lexa’s orders for the last half hour faded.

“Lexa?” Indra called from the other room. “It’s almost eight!”

Lexa stepped back quickly. For a second Clarke thought she saw a blush tinge her cheeks, but then it was gone.

“I have to go. I’m sorry.”

“Will I-” Clarke stopped herself. She was _not_ going to say the cheesiest line in every rom com she had ever watched. She was not looking for a date. “Maybe I’ll see you around sometime. The next time I’m hitchhiking I know who to call.”

“You’ve got my number now,” Lexa pointed out with a smile. “But maybe next time, pick a date you don’t need to run away from?”

Clarke mockingly saluted. She was _not_ imagining Lexa as her next date. “Yes ma’am.”

They exited the kitchen together, Clarke carrying the soup and depositing it behind the counter as Indra propped open the main door.

“Well… bye, then,” Clarke said, lifting a hand in farewell and heading for the door.

“Come round any time,” Lexa called after her. Clarke glanced back to see her lifting a coffee cup. “There’ll be a drink waiting for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guesses on how many times Clarke is going to tell herself she doesn't want to date Lexa before she gives in? ;)


	5. Niylah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the higher rating (although nothing very explicit).

“What are you smiling so much about?” Bellamy asked, crossing his arms and frowning at her suspiciously across the table. The rays of sunset sparkled over the sea on their left through the diner window. “You were late. You’re never late. Captain Jaha gave you his disappointed look.”

Clarke shrugged and pinched a fry from his plate. In her mind, she replayed Lexa’s expression of gratitude followed by the hug.

“You're always telling me to lighten up.”

“Yeah but…it's weird. You're not even studying.”

Okay, that was a fair point. The exam was still in a week's time. She turned off the Lexa hug replay and unzipped her bag to pull out a book. Her jaw clenched when Finn’s note floated out between the pages. She crunched it up into a ball and stuffed it in her pocket.

“Wait, when did you switch bags? I thought you were going this evening?”

“This morning. I went to the cafe before the flight.”

“I thought I was going with you,” Octavia protested, sliding into the booth next to Bellamy with her own carton of fries and a bean burger. “Lincoln’s always looking for new veggie places.”

“Shouldn't you be in class?” Bellamy asked her with a frown.

“Cancelled. So how was the vegan princess?”

“Jesus don't call her that…”

Octavia shrugged. Both she and Bellamy stared across the table, waiting for an answer. 

“She was fine, I guess. She had someone visiting to review the cafe but she burnt her hands. So I helped her make some soup. She yelled at me a lot for making it wrong.”

She left out a mention of the hug at the end. If she said that, they would never get it out of their minds to stop teasing her.

“That's why you were late?” Bellamy asked. “You were helping her make soup? Clarke Griffin was late to fly because she was helping out a stranger in a cafe?”

“Did she at least ask you out?” said Octavia.

Clarke’s fists clenched under the table.

“No! I am not going on a date with her. I don't even know her!”

“Are you going back to the cafe again?”

“I… maybe. I don't know. I haven't decided.”

Bellamy and Octavia exchanged knowing glances.

“What is the matter with you two?” Clarke demanded, standing up in the booth and glaring down at them. Her face heated up and her stomach had tied itself in a tight knot. “Just drop it. I don't want to go on a date. I've had enough of that from Wells and Finn, I'm done with it.”

The smile dropped off Bellamy’s face. She never mentioned Wells.

“Sorry Clarke-”

She grabbed her notes and slid herself out of the booth, shaking her head. “Forget it. I'll see you at home.”

Clarke walked out of the diner, ignoring Bellamy’s call after her. Her heart continued to race as she walked along the path next to the beach, pushing her book back into her bag. She pulled out Finn’s note from her pocket and unscrunched it to glance down at the words.

_ Dear Clarke _

_ It’s been so long since I've met someone like you. You know your mind, you're driven and dedicated. You are going to be an amazing pilot. _

_ I know you are still getting over Wells and what he did. But we fit so well I can't hold back the question any longer. Clarke Griffin, will you please go on a date with me?  _

_ Yours, _

_ Finn _

It’s been so long? More like six months.

She ripped it in half and dropped both pieces in a bin. Dates with anyone were a bad idea. It just ended in that sick feeling rising up her throat and thoughts that kept her awake at night.

She stopped a few feet further along the beach walkway, looking ahead and then left. It was ten minutes on the bus to home. Bellamy would be there soon. He’d try to apologise. Or she could turn left and head to Drinking Post. It was Monday. She didn’t have to go to the airport until midday tomorrow. Niylah would be working. 

Monday. Bellamy would have the TV remote. She turned left.

Santa Monica was emptying of shoppers and workers; even the traffic had lessened enough that there were noticeably less honks than usual. The heat still pressed in and she pushed her hair back away from her face, tying it loosely up. She took out her phone to text Bellamy that she would be late back, then decided against it and tucked it away again. He would work it out. And she wouldn’t be too late. 

The Drinking Post looked like it had been popped straight out of a western with its rugged brickwork and swinging wooden shutter doors - not to mention the wooden cowboy hat carved as the corner of its sign. Its aim was not subtlety. The wave of chatter and clinks of glasses wafted out of the building as she approached in ripples of sound. She stepped inside, pausing for a second to adjust to the dim light, then approached the bar and pulled herself up onto one of the stools. Light from the candles dotted about the room reflected against hundreds of different bottles stacked on the walls. A little further down the bar, Niylah poured several beers for a huddle of men in suits. Clarke waited, pulling off her bag to rest it between her feet. A few minutes later, Niylah approached.

“Wasn’t expecting to see you. It’s been a while.”

She picked out a bottle of beer from the back wall without asking.

“Yeah. I’ve been busy.”

Niylah shrugged, pushing the beer at her then pouring a shot. “None of my business.” She passed the shot over, her fingers brushing against Clarke’s as she met her eyes. “I finish at nine.”

She walked away to the next customer - a young couple, tourists judging by their sunhats and cameras - and Clarke downed the shot. Vodka. It burned her throat raw and she slammed the shot glass back down on the table, quickly chasing it with her beer. Now  _ this _ was better than Bellamy’s Bud Lights. Niylah knew her drinks. 

Her eyes wandered to the large clock on the wall. Just under an hour. She took another gulp of beer and pulled out her notes. As she read, drilling it into her head, she spared occasional glances for Niylah, walking from side to side obliging her customers with drinks of every variety. Twice more she stopped next to Clarke, not saying anything but supplying shots or beer. With every extra shot she downed, the less Clarke stared at her notes and the more she openly stared at Niylah. The waistcoat and shorts left only a little to the imagination - and even then, Clarke only had to call upon semi-recent memories. She had never had to worry about Niylah and dates. They had never even exchanged phone numbers. One drunken meeting had led to another. 

The diagrams in her notebook began to blur together and she flipped it shut, dropping it into her notebook and checking the clock again. Ten minutes. Then two minutes to Niylah’s apartment. Twelve minutes. Eleven now? Clarke shook her head, pushing her empty bottle to the side and drawing in a deep breath, blinking several times. She hadn’t meant to drink this much. There was class tomorrow. Captain Jaha would not be impressed if she turned up with a hangover. 

Niylah stood before her. She held a shot, but handed over a glass of water to Clarke. Clarke chugged it down gratefully as Niylah downed her own shot. Her expression barely changed as she swallowed it.

“Cover’s here early. Let’s go.”

Clarke nodded, jumping off the stool and hefting up her bag. Niylah lifted herself up and slid over the bar. Her cowboy boots landed with a clunk on the floorboards and she led the way outside. Clarke followed. The sky had turned a dark blue but the streets were far from dead. A gentle breeze brushing against her face helped sober her a little, but she made a conscious effort to keep her balance.

“How’ve you been, Clarke?” Niylah asked as they walked side by side down the street. “Things with that guy not work out?”

“No. Obviously,” Clarke said. “How about your lady from out of town?”

“Nope.”

They stopped together outside the door to Niylah’s apartment. Niylah fished her key out of one back pocket and unlocked the door, holding it open for Clarke. Clarke walked up the narrow flight of stairs first and felt Niylah’s fingers slip up the back of her tank top, tracing along the line of her jeans. She stopped in front of a green door on the second floor and Niylah pushed forward so Clarke was pressed up against it. Her hand slid around to Clarke’s stomach while her other fumbled with the lock. 

The door opened and the two of them lurched forward. Clarke kicked it shut behind them then spun and surged up, catching Niylah’s lips in a searing kiss. She nipped at Niylah’s bottom lip, hands roaming over whatever bare skin she could find, pushing and tugging at clothes. The waistcoat dropped to the floor then her tank top was yanked up over her head. Her fingers crept underneath Niylah’s bra while her other hand fumbled to unclip it. Niylah chuckled against her lips.

“Too many shots, Clarke?”

Clarke responded by pushing forward, curling her tongue along Niylah’s bottom teeth. Niylah thumped against the wall with a suppressed gasp and her bra tumbled away. Clarke’s lips shifted down, nibbling along Niylah’s collarbone then up to catch an earlobe between her teeth. She felt hands running through her hair, pulling the hair tie out, then running down her spine. Fingers tripped over her bra strap but continued downwards, slipping beneath her shorts and squeezing to draw Clarke closer. 

Clarke’s lips returned to Niylah’s to kiss her hard, tongues dancing from mouth to mouth. She shifted her position then lifted her knee up, pressing between her legs. Niylah gasped into her mouth and nails dug into Clarke.

Ringing erupted in the hallway. Clarke and Niylah jumped, Clarke almost falling backwards, and both turned their heads to find the source of the news. Niylah groped in her back pocket and tugged out a buzzing phone. 

“Wh-what? Hello?” she mumbled. “Marquel?”

She turned away and Clarke pressed her lips tightly together, trying to steady her breathing. Niylah’s lady from out of town was apparently not as out of the picture as Clarke had thought. Or Niylah had thought, judging from the shock currently coating her face.

“You said you were moving. You said-”

Clarke scooped up her top and pulled it back over her head. She stepped back, lifting her bag from where it had fallen by the door and let herself out. Her heart still thudded like an animal beating at a cage and every nerve was on edge. Her fingers tingled as her hand slid down the bannister of the stairs. 

Even Niylah was out of the picture now.

Clarke stopped by the main door and shut her eyes, embracing the darkness for a moment and forcing her emotions deep down. Her head still spun a bit from the alcohol and she focused on that instead. She opened her eyes again, steeled herself, and stepped back out into the real world.

\-----------

Lying awake in bed, Clarke stared up at her ceiling. Her eyelids were heavy, but when she closed her eyes she simply saw images of Wells and Finn and Niylah and Lexa, all dancing around in her head like a taunting merry-go-round. 

She sighed and grabbed her phone, opening Facebook and scrolling through a few pages. Octavia’s latest gym achievement. Jasper out hiking with Maya  _ again _ . Her mother posting a link to an article of election predictions.

She clicked the link, skim-read it then opened the CNN homepage. Murders. Fires. Politics. Sports. Same old, same old.

She jabbed at the home button and her cloud background flashed up. She hesitated, her thumb hovering over the screen, then opened Messages. She typed quickly and hit send before she could think too much about it.

**_How did it go today with the reviewer?_ **

A reply pinged back after only a few seconds.

_ Good! I think. I need to wait for the results. _

_ He loved the soup. _

**_You’ve scarred me for life. I am never making that stuff again._ **

_ That’s what you think. I know who to call next time I pick up a pot of boiling soup _

**_How are your hands?_ **

_ Itchy. But I’ve had worse _

_ So are you coming back to the cafe? I didn’t get to show you around. _

The corners of Clarke’s lips turned up as she stared at the message. The offer of a drink hadn’t just been a throwaway remark. 

**_I will_ **

_ When? _

**_Not sure_ **

She didn’t want to seem too eager - but she also didn’t want to do that stupid thing of trying to act cool but actually seeming like an uncaring idiot. Bellamy had long ago learnt his lesson on that and she wasn’t about to repeat his mistakes.

**_This week?_ **

_ I work every day except weds. _

Clarke smiled down at the conversation, scrolling back up and down to reread it. Lexa was gorgeous. Lexa also shouted. But none of that meant they couldn’t become friends.

**_Not wednesday it is :)_ **


	6. Second Chances

The week crawled past. Tuesday was too soon. Wednesday Lexa wasn’t working. But when Thursday finally came along, the realities of their upcoming exam hit home.

“Clarke, could I have a word?”

Clarke turned back from the door as the rest of her classmates filtered out around her. Captain Jaha waited by his desk, his arms crossed.

“How are you, Clarke? You’ve seemed distracted this week.”

Well no wonder. Finn was a dick, Niylah had rejected her and Lexa was causing all sorts of confusion in her head.

“Sorry, sir,” she said instead, not offering any explanation. “I’m studying. I’ll pass the exam.”

“It's not enough to just pass. I expect more of you than that.”

Clarke pressed her lips together. Everyone expected more of her. Jaha. Her mother. Bellamy.

“I know sir.”

He spread his hands before him and gave her a smile. “I am not trying to intrude, just help. Wells said you-”

“I don't care what Wells said,” Clarke interrupted. She would answer his questions and do her best to live up to his expectations that she would graduate top of the class - but she would not allow him to bring Wells into the conversation.

Jaha’s lips thinned but he nodded. “Very well. Just know that if you ever need to discuss anything, my ears are open.”

“Yes sir.”

She walked out of the room without a glance back, frustration bubbling up inside. Why would she ever talk about her shitty love life to anyone - let alone her ex’s dad?

He was right though. She had been distracted. And if she was going to get those wings of honour in a few months, plus the guaranteed job that came with them, she couldn't afford to be. Going back to Lexa’s cafe would have to wait until next week.

“Hey Jasper,” she called down the hallway, hurrying her steps to walk alongside him.

He lowered his phone. “What's up Clarke?”

“Study group tonight?”

“Ah, sorry. Dinner with Maya,” he replied with a lopsided smile. His phone beeped and he grinned down at the screen, tapping a message into it.

Clarke stepped past him to where Bellamy and Monty lounged against a wall.

“Study group?”

Both shook their heads.

“Code club.”

“Family meal. Tomorrow?”

Clarke nodded, walking past them to exit the building. The sun dazzled her and she lifted a hand up to shield her eyes, fishing in her pocket for sunglasses. As she pulled them out she felt something else escape. There was a crack. She spun. Her phone was face down on the gravel.

“Fuck!”

She scooped it up and turned it around. Jagged lightning bolts of broken glass careened out from the top corner. She pressed the home button. The cloud background appeared, flickered and vanished.

“No! For fuck’s sake!”

She resisted the urge to smash it back down on the floor and instead repeatedly jabbed the home button. This time there wasn’t even a flicker.

* * *

Monday morning rolled along, and with it both the promise of a new phone being delivered and the dread of exam day.

“Bellamy come on! The bus will be here in five minutes, we have to go!”

A wordless shout was the only response from the bathroom. Clarke shouldered her bag and went to wait by the door, pulling out a notebook and skimming through her notes. It was the same notebook she had left in Lexa’s car, over a week ago now. She had not been back to the cafe, but so long as she didn’t totally fuck up this exam her lunch plans for today were sorted.

“Focus, Clarke!” she muttered to herself, shaking her head and flicking ahead to the pages on Kolmogorov microscales. If she failed on anything, it would be that.

“Okay I’m ready! Let’s go,” Bellamy called, stumbling out into the hallway while pulling his t-shirt over his head. His hair dripped onto the worn carpet as he reached past her to yank open the door. An envelope tumbled out of the letterbox and would have been crushed by the door if he hadn’t dropped down to scoop it out of the way. “Yours,” he said, passing it over to her and walking outside.

Clarke pushed her notebook away and locked the door behind them, glancing at the letter. It had her name on - but no address. Hand-delivered.

“The bus is here, Clarke! Hurry up!”

She ran down the road after Bellamy and jumped onto the bus, nodding a thank you to the scowling bus driver. She settled into a seat next to Bellamy and ripped open the top of the envelope to pull it out.

_Dear Clarke,_

_Firstly, I am sorry. I should never have tried to keep it from you, even though I thought it unimportant. I have been thinking a lot for the past week and I would like you to know that I have spoken to Raven on the phone and we have agreed to go our separate ways. Of course I should have done this before I asked you on a date and I completely understand why you were upset. Will you give me a second chance?_

_Finn_

“He knows how to grovel,” Bellamy said. “You’re not going to give him another chance, are you?”

Clarke quickly folded the letter again and tucked it in her pocket, sparing a glare for Bellamy for reading over her shoulder. Her stomach roiled but she couldn’t tell if it was because of the exam or the letter. She shrugged in response to his question.

“Probably not.”

“Only probably?

“He’s said he’s sorry. I don’t know.”

“But-”

“I just want to focus on the exam, okay?”

She pulled her notebook out again to stare at the words and numbers and diagrams as the bus rolled through Los Angeles. Even with the letter out of sight, Finn’s apology repeated in her head. It wasn't just empty words - he had actually broken up with his girlfriend. So long as he wasn't lying again.

Finn had made her laugh. Bellamy did that too, but not in the same way. Finn had helped her forget about Wells and the stress of her studies, at the same time as being so convinced in her ability to achieve whatever she set her mind to. She had put him out of her mind for the past week, with the help of Lexa and Niylah and study group. But now the feelings of anger and betrayal at his admission on the mountain came crashing back down, mixed up with a painful hope that perhaps he was a good guy after all - just one who'd made a mistake. Could she forgive him for that?

The bus jolted to a stop and she followed Bellamy off onto the street outside the Arcadia Airlines offices. She gulped as she stared up at the building. It was time to forget about Finn again. Right now, the only thing that mattered was passing this exam.

* * *

Clarke pushed open the door to 12 Trees, trying not to feel like her brain had been put through the high wash in a washing machine. Numbers still whizzed in front of her eyes, taunting her with half-remembered questions and the possibility of an incorrect answer.

Indra stood behind the counter, handing back change to a customer then inviting the next person forward with a smile that seemed almost unnatural. Lexa was nowhere to be seen. Most likely she was in the kitchen, but Clarke joined the end of the line anyway. She could do with a coffee after the last three hours of concentration.

“So you came back,” said Indra with narrowed eyes when Clarke reached the counter.

“Yes. I told Lexa I would.”

“I know.”

Silence reigned and Clarke shifted her weight from foot to foot.

“Can I have a coffee?”

Indra turned away from her, not saying another word as she placed a takeaway cup beneath the coffee machine.

“Where's Lexa?”

Indra turned and pushed the coffee at her.

“Out. Three dollars.”

“Do you know when she'll be back?”

Indra held out her hand for the money. Clarke sighed and handed over three dollar bills, took her coffee and walked over to one of the sofas in the window. She pulled out the letter from Finn again and unfolded it, leaning forward to reread as she took a sip from her coffee. Was it genuine? How was she supposed to tell without meeting him face to face? Bellamy would not approve of meeting up with him again. But she missed that carefree feeling of being around him.

It was the same feeling she got when Lexa smiled, Clarke realised with a jolt. But if she included Lexa in her thoughts about dating, everything just got so complicated it felt like her head might explode.

A shadow loomed over her and she jumped. Lexa loomed over her holding a bag of groceries. She didn’t look happy. Clarke stuffed the letter back in her pocket and stood.

“Lexa, hi.”

“Hello Clarke.”

Once again silence seemed to overpower the chattering of everyone else in the cafe.

“Sorry it took a while to come down here, I’ve been busy.”

“Of course.”

Lexa seemed to be waiting for something - but Clarke couldn’t work out what. All traces of the smiles or gratitude she had seen before had vanished. Finally, she spoke again.

“Would you like to be shown around?”

It was an oddly formal request, but Clarke nodded.

“Sure - if you have time.”

“I said I would. I keep my promises.”

She turned away and Clarke grabbed her coffee then hurried after her into the kitchen.

“You saw most of this when you were here before.” She waved one hand to her right, not looking at Clarke. It was like talking with a totally different person compared to last time. “The oven, the-”

“Lexa?”

Lexa frowned at the interruption. “Yes?”

“Is something the matter?”

Lexa turned to face her, crossing her arms. She took a moment before speaking.

“I did not expect you to turn up again after you did not reply to my messages.”

“Messages?”

“Yes. I text you on Thursday to ask what time you would be coming to 12 Trees. Then I text you on Friday to say that we’d been entered into the competition. And when you didn’t reply to that either, I assumed that you had changed your mind. So I was surprised to see you.”

Clarke blinked back at Lexa. She had let Bellamy and her mom know that her phone was broken, and posted on Facebook for everyone else - but she had never imagined that Lexa would attempt to contact her. She felt a swoop in her stomach at the thought.

“I smashed my phone.”

“What?”

“I dropped it. I’m sorry. The screen cracked and it wouldn’t turn on - I didn’t get any of your messages.”

“Oh. I see.” The frown on Lexa’s face softened.

“But wait - you said you’ve been entered in the competition? By the reviewer? That’s great!”

Lexa nodded, leaning on a counter and allowing her expression to soften further. The barriers dropped and she smiled.

“Thank you Clarke. I was worried - even though you helped. I wanted to do it myself, even though I could not.” She lifted her hands, now pink but recovering.

“You can’t always do everything yourself. If you do everything, you’ll let the world go by.”

Lexa shrugged, straightening and taking a step closer. Her gaze was clear - determined. “Perhaps you are right. I would like to ask you something.”

“Yes?”

Lexa took a quick breath. She glanced at her feet then up again, so fast Clarke had barely seen it. “Would you like to go on a date with me, Clarke?”

The cafe lurched sideways, shocking the breath from Clarke’s lungs. She took a stumbling step back, goosebumps rising on her back.

“What?”

“A date?”

Clarke turned, stuffing her hands in her pockets. Her fingers brushed Finn’s letter. A date. A date with Lexa? A date with Finn?

“Lexa! There’s a line out here!” Indra shouted.

Lexa stared across at Clarke for a moment more before brushing past.

“Sorry,” Clarke muttered.

Their eyes met, Lexa shook her head and stepped out into the main cafe. Clarke ran a hand through her hair and followed. She kept her gaze on the floor, navigating in between tables and chairs. The door to 12 Trees slammed shut behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case it's not obvious - this is going to end up longer than six chapters. I would never end it here! Still not quite sure how long it will be - I know the last chapter and a few other big things that happen in between, but extra chapters keep appearing when I write!
> 
> I'm not entirely happy with how this chapter turned out, especially the start, but wanted to get it out there so I didn't get stuck and not post anything.


	7. Sky Crew

“You did what?”

Clarke slunk further down the seat, avoiding Bellamy’s gaze.

“I just… panicked.”

“But you’re Clarke,” Bellamy said, tilting his head in confusion as he stared across at her from the other side of the seat. “You never panic. Even when - well, you know. You didn’t panic then. You got me out, you didn’t even stop to think.”

A flash of fire lit up Clarke’s memory but she shoved it aside. Even the dilemma of Finn and Lexa was easier to think about than that. She picked up her drink and took a sip, shuffling further back in her seat. The bar bustled around them, noisy enough that no one would possibly overhear - but even so, she squirmed inside. She didn’t want to talk about this - yet as soon as she’d had one drink down her it had all come tumbling out. She couldn’t keep it all inside any longer - and Bellamy was the only person she could trust to not laugh at her. No one else would understand.

“Jaha tried to talk to me about Wells the other day,” she said, staring into her drink and swirling it in a small circle. The orange liquid washed up in a wave against the inside of the glass. “I went to see Niylah too. But that’s… done.”

A blast of music came from the next room over and Bellamy shuffled closer to reply.

“I thought it was simple with her?”

“It was. But now she’s seeing someone. She cares about her - I can’t mess that up.” She had seen the expression on Niylah’s face when Marquel phoned. It was the same expression she used to see when Wells looked at her, before everything fell apart there. She lowered her voice. “I just don’t know how to do this. With Wells… I grew up with him. I knew I could-” She stopped and shook her head with a snort. “Well, I thought I could trust him. But he-” She set her glass back down with a clunk and pressed her hands into the seat. Her insides tumbled over like a waterfall of mixed emotions, just broken free of a dam. She turned her head away from Bellamy so he wouldn’t see the sparkle of tears in her eyes and blinked them back. Between the pair of them, he had far more reason to be crying than she did. “Sorry. You don’t want to be talking about this.”

“Clarke. Look at me.”

Grudgingly she obeyed. His warm brown eyes stared back, but the usual smile on his lips had vanished.

“How do we know when it’s okay to start again?” she asked, only half-addressing the question to him. He answered anyway.

“I don’t know. I know I can’t. Not yet. But you left Wells longer ago than - than Gina.” He stumbled over her name, then clenched his jaw and continued. “It’s been two years, Clarke. We can’t just keep imagining what might have been for the rest of our lives.”

“But I don’t know how to do any of this. Finn makes me laugh. He makes me forget.”

Bellamy finished off his beer, eyes never leaving her. “And this new girl? Lexa?”

“Lexa… she’s…” Clarke struggled to find some way to explain her. Bold. Ambitious. Controlling. Beautiful. Even after the few times they had interacted, Clarke couldn’t help but feel that Lexa was somehow a mirror of herself. She didn’t quite understand why she was drawn to her, but… there was a connection. She couldn’t put words to it like she could for the reasons she liked Finn, but even so it was strong. Compelling. She wanted to know her more - if Lexa would even let her near after her reaction at the cafe earlier. “I don’t know. I like her. I like both of them.”

“Look, Clarke. I don’t care if you date Lexa. I don’t care if you date Finn, even if I don’t like him. I don’t care if you date no one. Hell, I don’t care if you date Captain Kane or Murphy - but please don’t,” Bellamy added with a playful nudge to her shoulder, prompting a small smile from Clarke. “I just want you to be happy. You saved more than my life after the accident. You know that, right?”

Clarke shrugged, folding her arms across her front. They didn’t talk about that - just like she didn’t normally talk about Wells. Apparently tonight was the night for taboo conversations.

“The point is - I’ll be behind you whatever stupid choices you make. But please, do what makes you happy. Just… don’t make your choices because of your mom or what seems sensible or what I say. Choose because they make you happy.”

The seat bounced and Clarke jumped, her knee knocking into the table and almost spilling her drink. Octavia peered over with a grin, half her cocktail glass already empty.

“Why so serious? Your exam’s over! It’s party time!”

Bellamy grinned back, his serious face hidden away again like it had never been there. He patted Clarke on the shoulder as he rose, buying her a few more moments to bury away her feelings. Somehow this last week had brought to the surface nearly all her old wounds. She was a mess. She had to pull herself together. Tomorrow, she would go back to 12 Trees and apologise for acting like an idiot.

“Suppose I should get another drink then. Clarke, do you want a-”

“She does not want any of your crap beer! Get her something decent!” Octavia shouted, sliding across the seat and slinging an arm over Clarke’s shoulders. Her breath stank of alcohol and she beamed at Clarke, oblivious to anything being wrong. Behind the seat stood Lincoln, holding a pepsi. He nodded down at Clarke with a smile then his gaze refocused on Octavia.

“We’re going to dance tonight, okay? Dance till dawn. Drink up, forget about it all.”

Octavia reached for Clarke’s drink and pushed it at her. Clarke took a gulp past the lump in her throat and tried to obey. She had no idea whether Lexa or Finn would make her happier - but for tonight, she would forget about them both.

* * *

Clarke spiralled out of the back entrance of the club, staring up at the stars. Her head buzzed and as she spun they morphed together into stripes of light. If she lived up there, among the stars, she would be free. Free and surrounded by beauty.

“Look. Look. They’re so pretty!”

She stumbled to a halt and tried not to sway from side to side.

“You should be an astronaut,” Octavia said with a giggle, curled up under Lincoln’s arm.

“You. Me. Bellamy. All astronauts. The sky crew!” Clarke exclaimed. She had drank so much. _So_ much. She couldn’t remember how much. That much.

“You forgot Lincoln! I’m not going without Lincoln.”

“I don’t want to be an astronaut. I like the ground,” Lincoln protested.

Octavia patted his chest. “Lincoln gets seasick. He’d probably get airsick too. Spacesick.”

Clarke waved her hand from side to side. That was no excuse. “Everyone gets spacesick.”

Bellamy retched loudly to the side and all three of them jumped away from him.

“Bellamy! We do not need a demonstration of spacesick!” Octavia shouted.

“My mom knows an astronaut,” Clarke said, tugging out her new phone.

“Watch it, you’ll break it again!” Bellamy called from next to the wall, one arm up to support himself.

Clarke shook her head in denial. It took her three attempts to unlock her phone then she swiped through her contacts. The names blurred together, just like the stars had done.

“Are you phoning your mom? You shouldn’t do that, Clarke,” Octavia said.

She escaped from under Lincoln’s arm to reach for the phone but Clarke jumped up onto a crate, holding the phone high. She almost fell off the other side straight away but managed to right herself.

“No! You are not taking my phone and setting its ringtone again!”

Octavia protested loudly but Clarke turned, hitting the green call button. Mom would know how to become an astronaut. Maybe there were less exams. And in space she wouldn’t have to worry about who to date.

“Hello?”

Wait. That wasn’t mom’s voice.

“Huh?”

“Um… hello? Who is this?”

“Who are you?” Clarke asked.

“You called me.”

“I did? Oh, yes. I did. You’re not my mom. You’re… uh.” She pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at the screen. A swell of nausea appeared when she read the name. “You’re Lexa.”

“I know who I am. I also know it’s three in the morning. Who is this?”

“It is? Oh. I didn’t know. This is Clarke. Did I wake you up?”

There was a long pause before Lexa replied. “Yes.”

“Sorry.” Clarke turned on the crate to find both Bellamy and Octavia making faces at her, gesturing at her phone. “Uh… I think Bellamy is telling me to put down the phone. I will in a bit.” She hopped off the other side of the crate and started walking down the street, glancing up at the stars again and ignoring Bellamy’s calls after her. She needed to make this right. She needed to show Lexa she wasn’t an idiot. “Have you seen the stars tonight? They’re very pretty.”

“I… yes. I suppose they are.”

“I think if I wasn’t a pilot I’d want to be an astronaut.”

Lexa didn’t reply. Clarke crouched on the ground, reaching for a weed between the cracks in the concrete and pulling it up. She opened her mouth several times to try to apologise, but all the words she came up with sounded jumbled in her head. She glared down at the weed and crumpled it in one hand.

“I… I’m going to go back to sleep now, Clarke.”

“Wait! I want to say something.” Clarke stood up, frowning across the street as she tried to concentrate. There was something important she had to say. Something sensible. “I’m sorry I ran away. I didn’t mean to. I just panicked. And I don’t panic normally. You’re just confusing. In a good way.”

She heard a quiet sigh on the other end of the phone.

“Don’t worry, Clarke. You’re confusing too.”

“In a good way?” She leaned against a wall, pressing a hand against her stomach as the nausea rose up again.

“I’m... not sure yet.”

“Can I come back to 12 Trees?”

“If you want to.”

Clarke nodded firmly. “I want to.”

“Okay. Well. Goodnight Clarke.”

“Night Lexa.”

The phone beeped as the call ended. Clarke stared down at the screen with a distinct feeling that she had done something she might regret - then promptly vomited all over the floor.


	8. It's Complicated

****Clarke’s head pounded against the inside of her skull and an unpleasant taste lingered in her mouth. She stumbled across the apartment, holding up one hand to shield her eyes from the bright sunlight streaming in through the windows. The clock hanging on the wall proclaimed the morning had been and gone. In her efforts to forget about Finn and Lexa, she had drunk more than she had since her first year at college. But now her body was not quite so equipped to cope with it.

_We've got to all stick together  
_ _Good friends, there for each other  
_ _Never ever forget that  
_ _I've got you and you've got me, so  
_ _Reach for the stars_

The song bellowed from beneath the table. Clarke growled Octavia’s name as she ducked down, fishing in the pockets until she felt the phone in her hand.

_Climb every mountain higher  
_ _Reach for the-_

“Yeah?”

“Clarke, where have you been? This is the third time I've called.”

“Mom? I'm sorry, I was-” She couldn't tell her mom she'd been sleeping off a hangover. She could imagine the disappointment well enough - quickly followed by questions of how much she had been drinking. “I was studying.”

“I thought your exam was yesterday?”

“It was. But I still need to study.”

“Ah, okay. Well Thelonius said you're doing well. I'm sorry I can't talk long - I just wanted to check if you were visiting your dad this weekend? He said you hadn't been to see him in a few weeks.”

A wave of guilt washed over Clarke. The past weekend she had been studying. The weekend before had been her fateful first date with Finn. And before that she had been helping Octavia move in with Lincoln.

“Yes, I'll visit him.”

“He said something… about a date? With a boy from the air force?”

Clarke pushed the phone away from her face so her mom couldn't hear her muffled groan. There was a good reason she had mentioned it to her dad and not her mom.

“Yes mom.”

“Well I'd quite like to know these things, Clarke. I'm your parent too. Is he nice?”

“Kinda.”

“Only kind of?”

“Just forget it mom!” Clarke snapped, pressing her palm to her forehead and collapsing in one of the chairs at the table.

“Alright, just… Let me know next time, okay? Are you taking your medicine? Have you been to the doctors?”

“Yes, and yes. She said it's all fine, no need to go back again.”

“Okay, just- oh I'm sorry Clarke, I have to go. I need to be in surgery. You should come to dinner one night this week.”

“Okay mom.”

“Bye!”

“Bye.”

Clarke brought the phone down from her ear with a sigh. As if her love life wasn't complicated enough without her mom sticking her nose in.

Her love life.

Lexa.

The phone call.

“Oh god.”

Clarke clicked open the call history, which confirmed what her blurred memories had already told her. She had drunk dialled Lexa last night. She pulled up a new text and started typing. If Lexa refused to accept her apology, at least she had tried to make things right.

**_I'm so sorry._ **

**_For the drunk dial, I mean. And also leaving so fast yesterday. I think I might have said sorry for that last night?_ **

_You survived the night then_

**_Yes. I'm sorry. I haven't been that drunk in years._ **

Clarke waited with baited breath, staring down at the screen. She saw Lexa start to type a message a few different times before a reply finally came through.

_It's okay. You're not the kind of drunk I would have expected._

**_...what would you expect?_ **

Again, she had to wait. Was Lexa struggling to reply, or was she just busy?

_Less excitable? You wanted to be an astronaut._

An astronaut? Oh… yes. The stars. That explained the ringtone.

**_Really though. I didn't mean to run out like I did yesterday_ **

_You could have just said no_

**_It's complicated._ **

Clarke hesitated, her thumbs hovering. She wanted to tell Lexa the truth - even though every inch of her normal brain was screaming at her that it was a bad idea, that she didn't know Lexa, that she couldn't trust her. She typed anyway.

**_I got a letter from that guy I went on a date with the same morning. Asking for another chance_ **

**_Then exam then you asked me out. It was all a bit much_ **

**_Anything like a date just seems… Like it has too much potential to go wrong atm_ **

It felt like she was digging herself into a hole. After five minutes of no reply, Clarke dropped her phone on the table to stop herself writing anything worse and walked into the kitchen. She reached for cereal, then put the box back down and picked up a banana instead. Anything more substantial felt like a bad idea with her stomach still roiling. She peeled it slowly, rearranging the magnets on the fridge so they lined up and taking small bites.

From the other room, her phone beeped. Clarke made the effort not to run, turning to drop the banana peel in the bin then walking over to the table.

_Well then do you want to go on not a date? We could go grocery shopping. That's not a date._

**_Grocery shopping_ **

_We can talk._

**_Do you just want someone to help carry bags?_ **

_I can carry bags without anyone’s help_

_Indra won’t give you death stares if we’re not at 12 Trees_

**_Why does she give me death stares?_ **

_She thinks - well, it’s complicated._

Good to know that she wasn’t the only one with complications. And Lexa had explicitly said this wouldn’t be a date. Bellamy’s voice from last night came back to her.

 _“_ _Choose because they make you happy.”_

**_Ok, grocery shopping._ **

**_Not today. I need silence. Silence and water_ **

_Tomorrow?_

**_I’m flying in the morning. I can come in the afternoon though._ **

_Ok, 2pm. Meet at 66 pier._

_Don’t break your phone again_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short... there was originally going to be another scene in this chapter, but as I didn't finish it that will turn into tomorrow's chapter. Thank you for all the feedback and comments so far, it's much appreciated :)


	9. Not Yet

Clarke lounged against a lamppost at the end of the pier, turning her body away from the tourists who pointed their camera up at the Route 66 sign to avoid ending up in the photos. It was not too crowded right now - but the realities of summer with its hordes of visitors would arrive soon enough.    
“Clarke?”

She looked up to find Lexa approaching. The thick eyeliner was back and she wore several layers of brown that defied the sun, covering her tattoos and scars. Clarke shoved aside the nerves rumbling in her stomach and pushed herself off the lamppost towards Lexa. This was not a date. There was no reason to be nervous. 

“Hi Lexa.”

They stood opposite each other for a few seconds then Lexa turned, pointing down the street.

“It’s this way.”

They walked side by side in silence. Occasionally Clarke glanced across at Lexa’s face but it was impenetrable in its neutrality - except that one time, she caught Lexa looking back too. 

“Didn’t you go grocery shopping on Monday?” she asked as they turned up a street, away from the beach.

“That was for Indra.”

“You do Indra’s grocery shopping?”

“She doesn’t like being around crowds,” Lexa said, stepping to the right and pulling open the door to a Whole Foods. She held it for Clarke then walked in after her, picking up a basket.

“Isn’t she in the wrong city?”

Lexa shot Clarke a frown of disapproval. “It’s different outside. There is always the sky above you for space. She says that being in a big building packed full of people makes her feel like a sardine in a tin. I need twelve eggs.”

Clarke turned, finding herself next to a stack of egg boxes, all with ‘FREE RANGE’ stamped on the outside. She picked out one box, checked inside and placed it in Lexa’s basket. Lexa reached out to open the lid again, checking for herself before nodding. Clarke resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“I thought you were vegan.”

“Vegetarian. But Titus would not work for me unless the cafe was vegan and Indra said it would help to draw a more niche market. And Costia-” She stopped, turning away from Clarke to pick up a carton of soy milk. When she turned back, her expression was blank again and she didn’t continue speaking.

“Does Costia work for you too?”

“Not anymore.”

Lexa reached up for a box of cereal, but her basket swung out to knock against them. The tower wobbled and Clarke jumped over, bringing both hands up to either side to steady the pile of boxes. She pulled one of them down and passed it over to Lexa who gave a gentle smile in response. Clarke had never met anyone with such obvious walls going up and coming down before - well, except for herself. Octavia had pointed it out frequently when they had first met.

“That is what is complicated for me,” Lexa said, her gaze on the aisle ahead. “Costia.”

Clarke’s thoughts went back to their very first conversation in the car back to LA, when Lexa had alluded to an ex-girlfriend. She reached out for a lettuce at Lexa’s gesture and passed it over.

“What happened?”

“She was my first friend in Los Angeles. I became a vegetarian because of her. She encouraged me to open a cafe, she worked for me. We did well at first as a veggie street stall, then I met Indra. Her family invested so I could open 12 Trees. It was a difficult adjustment, but we drew our audience - until Nia opened Ice Nation.”

Lexa’s face twisted into a scowl. She swung the basket around to drop several apples and peaches into it, apparently not worried about them bruising.

“Our profits plummeted. It was so hot last summer - everyone wanted ice cream. There were times - I wasn’t sure if we’d have to close. We argued.” Lexa sighed, resting her basket on top of a stack of tins and glancing over at Clarke, her lips downturned. Clarke stepped close, trying to tell Lexa with her eyes that it was safe to keep talking. She could trust her. “I argued with her too much. I thought I was going to lose Indra’s family’s money. Then one day Nia walked in to say that she’d persuaded Costia to jump the sinking ship and work for her instead. She’d offered her double the salary.”

“And Costia went? She left you?” Clarke asked, her brows furrowing in consternation.

“She left. She still works there. And now-” Lexa barked out a bitter laugh, lifting her basket up again and dropping a tin on top of the fruit. “Now we are up against Ice Nation in the competition.”

“Do you think you can beat them?”

“I will. I turned everything around when Costia left. Without her there as a distraction, I found the problems and fixed them. They will not win this competition. 12 Trees will win.”

There was not a glimmer of doubt in Lexa. A spark of hard determination shone from her eyes - burying layers of pain. Again, it felt like looking into a mirror. Clarke could recognise that stubbornness a mile off.

“Let me know if I can help. If you need any extra hands - I can drag my friends in.”

Lexa gave another of her small smiles. “Thank you Clarke.” Her fingers brushed against Clarke’s arm, raising goosebumps, but she just picked up a packet of sugar. “So what is your complication? The boy who left you on a mountain?”

“Yes. Him.”   
“I do not understand what is complicated. He left you on a mountain.”

Clarke smiled despite herself. “He did. But I didn’t give him much of a choice. And he apologised. He’s a nice guy really.”

“I would not forgive someone for leaving me on a mountain. Not unless I also left them on a mountain. An eye for an eye.”

This time Clarke did laugh aloud at the image of Finn staring at her open-mouthed as she drove off, leaving him behind. She couldn’t imagine him coping well alone in a forest.

“Finn is-”

“Clarke?”

Clarke jumped, grabbing Lexa’s arm as she spun. Finn stood on the other side of the aisle, confusion painting his face and a box of cookies in one hand. His eyes darted between Clarke and Lexa as he approached.

“What are you doing here? You… you didn’t reply to my letter.”

Clarke released Lexa and crossed her arms over her chest, edging back as he leaned in.

“I was thinking.”

“I delivered it two days ago.”

Clarke could see Lexa’s eyes narrow as she worked out who this was. Part of her wanted to step to the side so Lexa wouldn’t overhear the conversation - but a bigger part of her felt safer somehow, with Lexa glaring at Finn by her side.

“Is there a time limit?” she asked, her chin rising.

His big eyes stared back at her in confusion, lips slightly parted. “I don’t understand. I know why you were upset. I fixed it. So what’s wrong?”

Lexa’s mouth opened and Clarke stepped on the edge of her foot lightly to stop her. She lowered her voice before speaking again.

“I thought I could trust you, Finn.”

“You can!”

“You lied to me.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “Not technically, I just-”

“Yes you did,” Clarke snapped, her patience withering. “You didn’t tell me the whole truth when you knew how important it was that I could trust you.”

“You can’t compare me to Wells,” Finn replied. Clarke’s fists clenched at her sides. “Not telling you something that didn’t even matter is nothing like getting your dad chucked in jail-”

Clarke’s temper snapped. She shoved Finn in the chest with both hands and he stumbled back, dropping the tin with a clang and prompting gasps and mutters from other shoppers.

“Go away Finn,” Clarke growled, taking another step forward.

He gaped at her like a goldfish, not moving. She turned on one heel and walked in the opposite direction. At least this time she could get away from him easier. She tried to remember his jokes and playfulness and shook her head in disgust. He had fooled her once… and now almost twice. And it was her own damn fault for letting herself imagine she could trust him. She stopped next to the exit and turned, searching for Lexa while also checking that Finn wasn’t following. She didn’t want to walk away from Lexa again - even though more of her failed love life had now been revealed, thanks to Finn’s big mouth.

Lexa stood in a short line by one of the tills, looking straight over. She nodded in acknowledgement then stepped forward to bag up the groceries and pay. Clarke waited, sliding behind a tower of tissues to hide herself from view of the main shop. When Lexa approached with two bags in her arms, Clarke wasted no time in stepping back into the sunshine. 

“More complications?” Lexa asked.

“Something like that,” Clarke muttered, reaching out for one of the bags. Lexa hesitated, then lowered her arm to let her take one. “I just…” She turned to face Lexa, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. “Finn was the first person I went on a date with since Wells. And you heard why that ended. I can’t deal with more dates right now. Not yet.”

Lexa nodded slowly. “I understand, Clarke. I am sorry for what they did to you. Trust is so much harder when someone has shattered your faith in them.”

Their eyes met and Clarke knew that Lexa was not just saying words she thought would help. She truly did understand. She had lost Costia in a moment of betrayal, just like Clarke had lost Wells. She knew how difficult it was to open up.

Maybe, eventually, they could go on a real date. But not now. Not yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I got the characterisation better in this :) It's quite hard in the texts between them, but I think drowning myself in Clexa videos of them talking to each other while writing this chapter helped.


	10. Crash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Indra confronts Clarke, and Lexa starts to learn more of Clarke’s past.

Clarke flipped over the next page in her book and took a sip of green tea. The sun beamed in through the cafe window and the leaves of the plants around her rustled in the gentle breeze that came in through the open door. She felt her phone vibrate but ignored it for now, instead jotting down some notes on the sheet of paper next to her. Soon enough their final practical flight exams would be here, along with the decision on who would receive the wings of honour - and in the simulation exercise this morning she had not scored nearly as well as she would need to. To make matters worse, she still had no idea how she had done in the last exam as reassurance or otherwise.

The next page marked the end of the chapter. She leaned back, glancing over at the counter. Lexa was serving someone, but still their eyes met and she gave a small smile. Clarke had nearly memorised her schedule over the past couple of weeks - mostly to avoid turning up when only Indra or the silent Titus was on shift. It was peaceful here, without Bellamy’s music thumping out of his room or Octavia’s frequent appearances without notice. As Clarke watched, Lexa pulled an empty tray out of the display cabinet and hefted it up to carry back to the kitchen. She refocused her attention on her book and began reading the next chapter.

A shadow fell over the table. Indra glared down at her, a cloth and bottle of cleaner in one hand. She sprayed the cleaner onto the table and began wiping it slowly, working around Clarke’s tea.

“Why do you keep coming here?”

Clarke lifted her notes and book out of danger of the spray, sending Indra her own glare in response.

“Because it's a good place to study.”

“Didn't you study somewhere else before?”

“This is better. I'm buying drinks and food - what's the problem?”

Indra leaned in, lowering her voice into a hiss. When Clarke glanced across the cafe, Lexa had not emerged from the kitchen.

“The problem? The problem is that I don't trust you.”

“Trust me? You think I'm going to rob the cafe or something?”

“It is not the cafe I am concerned about.”

Clarke folded her arms, trying not to scowl too much. “You think I'm going to rob Lexa?”

“Do not be dense, Clarke. You know exactly what I mean. You are toying with Lexa-”

“I am not.”

Indra continued as if she hadn't spoken. “-and it would be better for everyone if you did not come back here again.”

Clarke lifted her chin, holding Indra’s gaze without blinking. “I am just her friend. Is that so hard to understand for you?”

Indra opened her mouth to reply but stopped when two new figures appeared at her side. Octavia lifted a hand in greeting and slid in next to Clarke.

“Hey Clarke - you were right, this is a nice place. Love the trees in the window.”

“What are you doing here?” Clarke asked, her eyes still flicking up to Indra in case the woman decided to continue the argument. However she seemed to be distracted now by Lincoln - the two of them were staring at each other.

“I text you. I said I wanted to see this place. And meet Lexa,” Octavia added in a whisper with a wink.

“Indra?” Lincoln said, uncertainty in his voice.

Indra’s scowl lessened and she clasped hands with him.

“Lincoln - why are you here?”

Lincoln gestured at Octavia and Clarke. “You've met Clarke?”

Indra harrumphed in agreement.

“She's friends with my girlfriend.”

Indra eyed Octavia up and down with suspicion. 

“Wait, how do you two know each other?” Clarke asked. 

“We were neighbours growing up.”

“He threw water balloons over the fence,” Indra said, completely serious and glaring at Lincoln as if to make sure he knew she hadn’t forgiven him.

Octavia laughed and Indra’s frown intensified on her as Lexa appeared.

“Clarke? Is everything okay?” she asked, looking between Clarke and Indra. 

Clarke's eyes narrowed at Indra. “I don't know Indra. Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” Indra grated.

She nodded once at Lincoln then turned away. Lexa looked between Clarke and Indra, a question in her gaze. Lincoln set himself down on the opposite side of the table and Octavia peered up at Lexa.

“Are you Lexa?”

“Yes. Who are you?”

“Octavia. Bellamy’s sister.”

“Who is Bellamy?”

Octavia turned her head to send a piercing gaze at Clarke. Clarke tried to remove the guilt from her expression. She had spoken about Lexa to Bellamy and Octavia and Lincoln, but not mentioned them to her once. It just… hadn’t come up in conversation.

“My housemate. We're on the same piloting course,” she explained.

“He'll be here soon,” Octavia added. “You should come out with us sometime when you're not working. Clarke's been talking about you for the past three weeks.”

Clarke kicked Octavia under the table but she didn't even wince. Bellamy had accepted that she didn’t want to go on a date with Lexa - but Octavia was determined to ignore that, however many times Clarke said it.

“Perhaps,” said Lexa, her eyes flicking to Clarke. “I am needed here most of the time though - there is a lot to do in the cafe.”

“Clarke said you were busy. But she’s busy too and we still manage to drag her out. They get their exam results on Friday-”

Something banged outside then smashed, shouts echoing on the street. Clarke jumped up and out of her seat, knocking into Lexa. Every nerve in her body was on edge as she swivelled her head to find the source of the noise. The second she saw the smashed up car she leaped to the left and ran out of the door, ignoring the shout that followed her.

The driver was stumbling out of the car - a middle-aged man in a business suit, his hair combed back. Another car had stopped a few yards further down the street and spun sideways, blocking the rest of the traffic. Smoke leaked from the bonnet and Clarke found her hands shaking at her side. 

She had to do something. She had to help.

She ran to the closest driver, peering in through the cracked windscreen to check for any other passengers. There were none. The driver was safe.

No roof caved in. No petrol smell. No screaming.

“Are you okay?” she rasped, helping the man sit down on the edge of the sidewalk. She could hear Octavia’s voice, but could not focus enough to make out the words. 

The man ran his hands through his hair, destroying the neatly combed waves and revealing a small cut just beneath his hairline.

“I… I think so. I d-don’t understand. It wasn’t there, the car wasn’t there when I turned…”

Clarke gave him a cursory glance for any other injuries then reached in her pocket to draw out a tissue. She pressed it to his forehead and lifted his hand so he could hold it himself. 

“Don’t understand,” he muttered again, squeezing his eyes shut.

Other passersby were approaching and she scrambled up, stepping away. She could help with injuries. She couldn’t deal with his emotions. She swirled on the spot, searching for the other car again and trying to fight her swimming vision. A dull roaring pounded in her ears, accompanied by a memory of Bellamy’s distant shouts. 

“Clarke! Clarke, are you okay?”

Her eyes focused. Bellamy. He was actually here. He was safe. He was trembling so hard that Clarke’s own arms shook when he gripped her.

“Are you okay?” he repeated. His eyes were red and wide and he kept glancing over his shoulder. “I was there when it happened. I was right there, standing next to them.”

His shaking increased and he yanked his hands down, peering around Clarke to the driver sat on the curb.

“What did you think you were doing?” he demanded, stepping around Clarke. His fists were clenched at his sides and he seemed utterly unaware that Octavia, Lincoln and Lexa were hurrying towards them through the chaotic gaggle of people gawping at the crash. “That was dangerous driving!”

“Bellamy, he didn't see-” Clarke started.

“Look what you've done! You could have - you could have killed someone!”

“Hey Bellamy, calm down,” Octavia said, exchanging a worried glance with Clarke as she reached for his shoulders to guide him away from the driver, who was now openly sobbing. Lincoln appeared on his other side to help haul him further down the street, away from the scene of the crash.

“No one’s hurt, Bellamy,” Clarke said as she followed right behind. She could feel Lexa watching her and forced her shaking hands still. “It's okay, no one's hurt.”

“But they could have been!” he shouted, his voice hoarse. He pressed the palm of one hand to his face, covering his eyes.

Clarke pulled his hands down to meet his gaze, holding on tightly to try and reassure him. Over here, away from the sights and the sounds, it was easier to concentrate.

“Bellamy. We're okay. They're okay. It's just two cars that need fixing.”

“But-”

“I know. But it's not the same.”

“I heard the noise - and I knew. I knew what it was. All I could think about was last time. I couldn't move, I couldn't help…”

He trailed off, pulling away from Clarke and turning away. Octavia kept her hold on his shoulder and moved with him.

“Come on. We should get you home.”

He shrugged, the fight gone out of his shoulders. 

“Fine.”

“Clarke?” 

Clarke shook her head. She knew if she went back to their apartment now it would be an evening of bad memories and probably drunk Bellamy.

“Okay. I'll text you later,” Octavia said, already turning and coaxing Bellamy down the street. It was the long way round, but better than passing the crash again.

She would need to pass it though, to get her stuff from the cafe. What then? Niylah was out of the picture. She was the usual distraction.

“Clarke? Are you okay?” Lexa asked, her hand settling softly on Clarke's back.

Clarke took comfort from the touch for a few moments before shrugging it off as she turned. The smoke still rose into the sky from the turned car and she couldn't help but wince at the sight.

“Come back to the cafe. We can go up to my apartment.”

Clarke hesitated. She had nowhere else to be today. But was going up to Lexa’s apartment a good idea?

If they were just friends, as she had told Indra, then it shouldn't be a problem. And she really didn’t want to go back to her own apartment yet.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I was busy all Thursday and Friday then spent a fair amount of the weekend working out what I wanted to be in this chapter as my original plan shifted. On a work trip tomorrow, but hoping I can get ch11 written on the train.


	11. Gina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clarke and Lexa have a deep, meaningful talk... about death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW serious car crash. Skip the middle section if you want to avoid it.

Clarke followed Lexa back down the street, turning her head to the side so she didn't have to look at the vehicles. A couple of cops had turned up to restore order and the impatient LA traffic was already beeping to get past.

Inside the cafe, a small group of customers had congregated by the window to stare out at the crash. Lexa pressed one hand to Clarke's arm to tell her to wait then squeezed through, gathering Clarke’s things from the table into one arm. She gestured across the room at a flight of spiral stairs. Clarke unhooked the chain and made her way up. She risked one final glance at the carnage outside, her stomach lurching with a wave of discomfort, then the scene vanished behind a wall.

Lexa’s apartment had just as many plants as the cafe below. It was small and open plan, with a counter and short fridge separating the kitchen from a sofa, rocking chair, large bookcase and coffee table. There was no TV set anywhere. Across the room, Clarke could see a four poster bed through drapes and a bead curtain. Photographs of birds and mountains and forests had been hung up in no apparent order on the walls.

Lexa didn't offer her a drink. Instead she motioned for Clarke to take the sofa and settled into the rocking chair. It creaked softly when it swung backwards and her eyes bored into Clarke. The tick tock of a clock filled the apartment and a muffled buzz came from downstairs.

“You were in a car accident,” Lexa said.

Clarke eyed the ceiling and nodded. Then she forced her eyes down, so she was looking back at Lexa. Her expression was the usual neutral, but there was more of a softness to it than normal.

“Almost a year ago. In our summer break,” she said.

“Your friend too? Bellamy?”

“Yes. Me, Bellamy. And Gina.”

It was the first time in months she had said that name. With it came the screams, echoing down her ears in torrents. Bellamy’s and Gina’s and her own, all mixed in together. Smoke had filled the car so quickly. She had opened her eyes and for a moment thought she was dead, because she could not see anything. Then she felt the pain of her seatbelt digging into her shoulder and chest and neck, somehow holding all her weight. Then a sob. Then a scream.

Clarke felt a trickle of sweat run down her neck, somehow at the same time as goosebumps rose on her arms. Lexa watched her intently, but when her mouth opened she couldn't put the words together.

Lexa stood from the rocking chair and sat on the sofa next to Clarke.

“It's okay, Clarke. Only tell me what you want to. Or I can leave you, go back down-”

“No,” Clarke snapped, shaking her head. Green eyes met blue. “Don't leave,” she added, quieter this time.

Lexa leaned back in the sofa, her head resting on it. Clarke copied, but her gaze kept shifting between Lexa and her feet and the rest of the room.

“We went camping. Octavia was meant to come too, but she was sick and Bellamy insisted she stay home to rest.” As always, a rush of relief ran through her at the thought. If it had been different, if Octavia had been there as well… All four of them trapped… “There was a deer. Bellamy swerved to avoid it and we went off the road.”

Shouts of panic had turned into shrieks of terror as they had tumbled down the hill. The car had turned. The windscreen cracked like a gunshot. Bangs and thumps had filled her ears - just like the cars outside the cafe, but only for a moment.

“I hit my head. When I woke I couldn't see anything through the smoke. I could smell petrol.”

Lexa's hand curved around hers, cool and calming with a gentle squeeze.

“I got free of the seatbelt. Kicked the door open and got out. Gina was unconscious and Bellamy started shouting. I pulled him out, then her. He carried her and we started up the hill - but a fire started. We ran, but we couldn't get far enough away..”

Fire rained down on them, bringing chunks of metal and pieces of nearby trees. A branch had dropped on Clarke’s back, setting her shirt alight.

She could feel the torturous flames dancing over her back now as she pulled one strap down and twisted, revealing the scars.

“Like mine,” Lexa murmured, tracing one slender finger over the biggest scar. “They show your strength, Clarke.”

Clarke’s lips pressed together and she pulled away from Lexa’s touch entirely, settling her hand back in her lap. “It doesn't matter. Gina died two days later.”

Strong. Brave. People kept saying that to her in the weeks after the crash, like it made some difference. She'd thrown away all the get well cards as soon as she'd got out of hospital. She'd almost left the state, but her dad convinced her to stay and finish her piloting course. She'd found an apartment for her and Bellamy and they'd gone back to school, trying to pretend everything was normal. Pretending they didn't hear each other's nightmares.

“Were you close?”

Clarke shrugged, pushing the strap back up.

“Not as close as we could have been. I only realised at the funeral - I had never met her family before, I knew nothing about her when she was a kid.”

Gina had been nice. Sarcastic on the surface, but friendly… And now there was no chance to get to know her more.

Lexa turned sideways, pulling up her shirt sleeve to fully reveal the scars and tattoos Clarke had only had cursory glances of before. The burns stretched beyond her neckline, down to her chest.

“When I was ten, there was a fire in our stables. Three horses died, but one carried me out to safety. We rode together every day after that, for twelve years. When the other children at school made fun of my scars, he was always there at the end of the day, happy to see me.” A smile flickered on her lips then faded into a preoccupied frown. She stared across the room. “When he died, I thought I would never get over the pain. He was not human, but he was the only friend I had.”

“I’m sorry,” Clarke said. She glanced down at Lexa’s hand, considering taking it, then rejected the idea. “How did you get over it?”

“At first I vowed to never become so attached to another creature or person again. I moved to Los Angeles to distance myself from my parents. But eventually I realised that the weakness was not in caring to begin with - it was becoming so absorbed by the ending that I could not honour our memories.” The intensity of her gaze increased, trapping Clarke in it. She could not look away. “Life ends for everyone, Clarke. The dead are gone and you should not lose yourself in regret. Focus on the living, while they are still here.”

A memory flashed before Clarke’s eyes. Gina, laughing so hard that she spat her drink out - then laughing even louder, all because Bellamy had drawn a smiley face drawn on top of his steak in ketchup. It had been so long since she had recalled a happy memory of the two of them. Every mention of Gina just brought back the screams and smoke and panic of that final day.

A wave of gratitude and appreciation for Lexa swelled up in Clarke's stomach. This time, she did reach forward and take her hand.

“Thank you, Lexa.”

She smiled - that beautiful, soft smile of hers. For a second, her gaze flashed down at Clarke's lips - but then she was staring into Clarke's eyes again and squeezing her hand back.

The emotions behind her gaze jerked Clarke out of her comfort zone and she pulled her hand away, shuffling around so she wasn't looking straight across at Lexa.

“I should get back downstairs,” Lexa said, standing and stretching. “Indra will want to have words with me about leaving her on shift alone. You are welcome to stay up here as long as you wish.”

“Wait - one last thing.”

Lexa turned back to face her.

“Just one part of your story that doesn't make sense. You let kids make fun of your scars?”

Clarke knew full well that kids could be cruel, but Lexa didn't seem the type to stand by idly.

Lexa smirked. “They did it once. I broke two noses. And after that they never said a thing to my face again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter turned out quite well :) Better than the last one anyway. Special thanks to everyone leaving comments, it makes my morning to wake up and go through those email alerts :3


	12. Never Have I Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clarke gets hit on (not by Lexa) and Lexa plays ‘Never have I ever’ for the first time.

“Clarke! Over here!” Jasper bellowed from across the room, waving one arm frantically with his other arm draped over Maya’s shoulders.

Clarke pushed her way through the crowd to join them at the table, Bellamy following close behind. Monty, Harper, Monroe and Fox were there as well and several half-empty pitchers and glasses were already dotted over the table.

“Starting early aren’t you?” Bellamy asked with his usual grin, grabbing a chair from the next table over and sliding in between Clarke and Jasper. A week had passed since the car crash outside Lexa’s cafe and after a few days of Clarke doing all the cooking and cleaning, plus a visit to Gina’s grave, he had put himself back together again. Every night since, though, they had both woken to nightmares.

“Never too early,” Monroe replied, pouring a glass of something orange for the two of them.

“Ah, not for me,” Clarke said, shaking her head. The rest of the table stared at her.

“What the fuck, Clarke? You came top of the class again - you need to celebrate.”

Monroe pushed the glass into her hand.

“I have to be up tomorrow morning to-” Clarke stopped at the look on Monroe’s face. “Fine, one.”

“That’s what you think,” Monroe replied with a wink, downing the rest of her glass and spinning off her stool to head back to the bar.

“Isn't Octavia coming?” Monty asked.

Bellamy shook his head. “She has her exam in a couple of days, she needs to study.”

Clarke's phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out and smiled to see Lexa's name flash up on the screen.

_Gods help me. Aden mixed up the salt and sugar._

_This is the worst cookie I have ever tasted_

Clarke snorted. Bellamy glanced at her then continued talking when he saw she was on her phone.

**_Ew. Are you sure he mixed them up? He wasn't playing a prank?_ **

_Aden wouldn't do that. He will be sorry when he comes in next though_

**_Do you need to make more?_ **

_No, this was just a test batch._

**_For the competition next week?_ **

Clarke watched the screen of her phone for a couple of minutes, waiting for a reply, then placed it screen down on the table and took another sip of her drink. Monroe had returned with two more pitchers and she, Bellamy and Jasper were discussing what drinking game to play.

“Ring of fire.”

“We don't have a pack of cards!”

“Never have I ever?”

“Are you twelve?” Jasper scoffed. “Are you going to say truth or dare next? No!”

“Waterfall!”

Clarke turned her phone over again, but there were no messages waiting. She considered texting again, but decided against it. Lexa would reply when she could. She was probably just busy. Even so, anxiety gnawed at her gut. What if something had happened? What if she’d burnt herself again?

“Clarke, you playing?” Jasper asked, offering her another drink with a goofy grin.

“Yes she is!” Monroe exclaimed, jumping out of her seat and sidling around the table to take the drink from Jasper’s hand and setting it down in front of Clarke. She squeezed in to perch on the arm of Clarke’s chair. Clarke hesitated and she leaned close to speak in her ear. “Come on, Clarke. You’ll be flying around the country soon enough. Have a drink with us delinquents?”

She winked once and Clarke sighed, shaking her head with a smile as she picked up the drink. The table cheered and Monroe pointed at Jasper.

“Go!”

Jasper lifted his glass and began to chug. Then Bellamy, then Monroe, then it was Clarke’s turn. She sipped instead of chugged, following the circle around the table with her eyes as they all began to drink. Even Maya joined in - albeit with a glass of water - then it was round again, Jasper lowering his drink then Bellamy then -

Clarke frowned up at Monroe. Monroe smirked back even while continuing to drink. She tapped her fingers on Clarke’s shoulders rhythmically.

“Monroe, you don’t even have any drink left!” Jasper bellowed. “Put it down!”

She lowered her empty glass and Clarke dropped hers to the table with a glare that was only met by a wider smirk.

“Another game? Or dancing?”

“We are _not_ playing ‘never have I ever’, Monroe!” Harper called with slurring words. She was already slouched back in her seat, legs swung over the side.

“Just wait. In an hour you’ll be begging for it.” Monroe hopped off Clarke’s seat and reached for her arm, pulling her up and towards the small dance floor. Clarke scrambled for her phone with one hand and shoved it in her pocket. “Come on! Harper, Fox, get up here! Monty you too, I see you watching!”

Harper slid out of her seat and Fox began pushing at Monty, but Clarke was already being tugged away by Monroe. She followed the other girl onto the dance floor, sliding between the moving bodies pulsing with the beat that echoed off the walls. Monroe swirled, lifting her arms in the air. Her eyes crinkled and she grabbed one of Clarke’s hands again, swinging it along with the music. Harper, Fox and Monty appeared and she beckoned them in too, skipping from foot to foot and bobbing her head.

Clarke pushed her worries aside and began to dance with them - although evidently not enthusiastically enough for Monroe, who took her other hand and began to spin her around.

“Whoa, whoa Monroe!” Clarke exclaimed, laughing as she stumbled sideways, stepping on someone’s foot. They shoved back and she fell forwards. Monroe’s arms wrapped around her to keep her from falling to the floor. “Thanks,” she said, pulling back, but Monroe didn’t release her, instead swaying from side to side with Clarke trapped in her hold. She winked for a third time and Clarke’s stomach jolted at a memory of Harper laughing in class one time, teasing Monroe for _always_ winking when she flirted.

Monroe’s arms loosened their hold but she leaned in to speak directly in Clarke’s ear. “I’m glad you came out tonight, Clarke. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Clarke laughed nervously. Monroe’s eyes crinkled again and she stepped back, keeping one hand on Clarke’s waist. Over her shoulder, Harper met Clarke’s eyes with a knowing look on her face. She, Fox and Monty had moved further away, with Monty bouncing gleefully, his hair flopping up and down on his forehead.

Clarke moved in time with the music, not meeting Monroe’s eyes. She was 90% certain that Monroe was looking for sex rather than romance, going off her history with many names being mentioned in class. Could this be simple, like with Niylah? They had classes together, but not for much longer.

She stepped closer and Monroe’s hand slipped into hers, a victorious grin on her face. A twinge of uncertainty ran through Clarke and she was suddenly conscious of the phone in her back pocket and the messages she had been sending back and forth with Lexa for the past three weeks. She had told Lexa ‘not yet’ - but with every passing day it was more difficult to justify that. Thinking of Finn and Wells hardened her resolve. Did she really want just sex? With Monroe?

A pair of sharp, green eyes focused on her from the bar entrance.

“Lexa!”

Monroe pulled back in confusion and Clarke side-stepped around her, pushing through the crowded dance floor to the front of the bar. Lexa and Octavia stood there, Octavia’s fake ID being waved through. Clarke stopped a few feet away from them.

“Lexa? What are you doing here?”

She gestured at Octavia, but her gaze wandered behind Clarke. When Clarke glanced back she found Monroe standing at the edge of the dance floor, her arms folded and staring over with obvious confusion.

“Octavia came to the cafe. She invited me to join you.”

Clarke’s gaze shifted to Octavia. She shrugged and walked past. “You’re welcome,” she muttered.

Clarke couldn’t tell if Lexa had heard.

“Uh - we’re on the table over here.”

Clarke turned to follow Octavia over to the table where Bellamy, Jasper and Maya still sat, avoiding Monroe’s stare. Lexa fell into step beside her.

“I hope I’m not intruding.”

“No! No you’re not,” Clarke said, falling back into her original seat and pulling out the one next to her for Lexa to sit in. On her right, Bellamy was arguing with Octavia.

“You’ve got an exam, you need to study-”

“Let off, Bellamy. It’s my life.”

“And you’re going to screw it up-”

Octavia stood and walked around to the other side of the table, sitting next to Lexa and not saying another word to Bellamy. He caught sight of Lexa. A level of familiarity registered but it was obvious he didn’t know who she was.

“This is Lexa,” Clarke said to the whole table.

Lexa nodded in greeting, her expression staying unfazed as Monroe, Harper, Monty and Fox rejoined the table. Monroe perched on the side of Clarke’s chair once more and Clarke leaned forward, not missing the piercing gaze Monroe levelled at Lexa over her head.

“Never have I ever?” she said.

Harper giggled into Monty’s shoulder but didn’t argue this time. Bellamy rolled his eyes, and Jasper and Maya were busy making out on their side of the table, oblivious to everyone else.

“Never have I ever!” Monroe declared triumphantly, reaching forward to pour the remaining cocktails between everyone’s glasses.

“Clarke.” Lexa leaned in to speak quietly. “I have not played this game before.”

“What? Never?” Clarke asked incredulously.

“Never. What are the rules?”

“You just… say something you’ve never done before. And if you’ve done what someone else says, you drink.”

A slight furrow appeared in Lexa’s brow. “This seems… a strange game.”

“New girl, you go first!” Monroe called over, pointing at Lexa with a hard glint in her eyes.

Lexa nodded, raising her chin to address the whole table.

“Okay. I have never been to university.”

“What? No, that’s terrible!” Monroe protested. “It has to be something good. Like - never have I ever been arrested.”

Octavia was the only one at the table to reach for her drink. Bellamy’s mouth dropped open but she glared at him strongly enough that he shut it again without saying anything.

“Clarke, your go,” Monroe said, nudging her shoulder.

Clarke looked around the table for inspiration. Jasper and Maya had paused their make out session to watch with interest. Jasper leaned forward to pick up his drink again, nodding encouragement at Clarke.

“Never have I ever… had sex on a first date.”

Monroe elbowed her then took a drink - shortly followed by Lexa, who met Clarke’s curious stare without revealing a thing.

“Never have I ever kissed a man,” said Lexa, as soon as she had put her drink back on the table.

Multiple groans echoed around the table and Clarke felt Monroe stiffen at her side as she drank.

“Never have I ever had surgery,” Monty said

Lexa and Clarke drank at the same time, then Lexa leaned over. Clarke turned, ignoring the next statement from Harper as Lexa spoke.

“How do you win this game?”

“You don’t win. You just get drunk.”

Clarke’s head was already swimming, so much that she almost missed Lexa’s next words. She vaguely remembered that she was meant to be visiting her dad tomorrow and sighed at the thought.

“Did you pass your exam?”

Clarke nodded her head up and down several times. “Not as good a mark as I wanted. But I passed. And I still came top.”

“That is wonderful, Clarke,” Lexa said, beaming at her. The alcohol seemed to be relaxing her as well. “Will you still come to the cafe to study?”

“Yes. And I’ll keep coming even after I’m qualified too,” Clarke said, the drink running away with her tongue.

“Oi, you two! Pay attention!”

Monroe frowned down at them. She moved off the arm of Clarke’s chair and walked around to the other side of the table, taking Jasper’s drink and lifting it.

“Never have I ever killed an animal.”

The smile dropped off Lexa’s face. She took a gulp of her drink and scowled across the table at Monroe. Monroe’s sneer wavered in the face of such obvious hostility.

“Lexa, let’s go dance,” Clarke said, reaching for her hand and sliding out of her seat. Her fingers tingled as they brushed across Lexa’s palm to interlock with hers.

Lexa resisted for a moment then rose gracefully. With Monroe’s glare, Bellamy’s curiosity and Octavia’s smirk following them, they made their way onto the dance floor.

* * *

The loud beep of a phone jerked Clarke awake. She sat up suddenly and the sheet fell off her. Her clothes from the night before were twisted and uncomfortable - but this was not her room. The walls were unfamiliar and the window was in the wrong place. Her phone beeped again and she tumbled off the bed, scrabbling on the floor until she found it just underneath the bed - next to a key card.

This was a motel room.

She clicked the text open. It was from Bellamy.

**_Clarke where are you?? Octavia’s quit school!_ **

Clarke stood and walked over the room to peer out of the window. Desert stared back.

There was no desert in Los Angeles.

She turned back to stare into the room at Lexa, who was sprawled out on top of the covers and even had her shoes still on.

Clarke swallowed as she typed a reply.

_I have no idea..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is a catch. What more can I say? Oh yeah, I guess sorry for the cliffhanger ;) Finally onto one of the scenes I had planned at the start of this story!
> 
> I also spent yesterday evening on Sims instead of writing (sorry). I made Clarke and Lexa and 12 Trees Cafe and Lexa’s apartment. If you want to see, head to the Hitchhiker tag on my tumblr with the same username - http://laurasfantasia.tumblr.com/tagged/Hitchhiker


	13. Texts From Last Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clarke and Lexa try to work out how they got from LA to sleeping in the same bed somewhere in the Californian desert. Also Bellamy yells a lot via text.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, I owe you guys an apology. At first the delay was due to me leaving one job then starting another coupled with a little bit of personal drama. And I think you all know what caused the delay to continue… Even so, I am SO sorry because that was a terrible cliffhanger and I never meant to leave you hanging for that long. I present chapter 13!

_ 01:13 sorry we left I forgot to say bye _

_ 01:14 BYEEE _

**_01:17 left where? U were just at the Barr! Whose we?_ **

_ 01:32 we didn't like it men suck  _

**_01:40 I don't!!!_ **

_ 02:15 not you idiot _

_ 02:20 she means the the collective of men don't make it about you mr Bellamy _

**_02:27 she? Is that you Clarke? Who is we??_ **

_ 02:39 hahahahaha mayyybe it's Clarke maybe it's not  _

**_02:50 give Clarke her phone back ms began princess lady!!!_ **

**_02:52 vegan. Like green. You're the we arnt you?_ **

**_03:01 Doris unlockeddd, just be quite when u get back!_ **

**_03:02 door. not doris lolol_ **

**_03:08 whose doris? Are you with Doris?_ **

_ 03:15 In with Lexa!! We're going on holiday _

**_03:21 i thought u didnt like lexxa_ **

**_03:22 holiday where????_ **

**_03:55 your Ely late in not stating up anymore_ **

**_09:05 Clarke are you okay? Surprised you're not back yet_ **

**_09:10 reading up through messages from last night… I really hope you didn't do something stupid. Call me?_ **

**_09:40 Clarke, call me NOW! Octavia just text to say she's quit pilot school to work in that fucking vegan cafe what the fuck??_ **

**_09:44 Clarke pick up your fucking phone_ **

**_09:57 Clarke where are you?? Octavia's quit school!_ **

Clarke pressed her index fingers to her forehead, wishing the dull echo in her head would go away so she could think properly. The last thing she remembered was dancing with Lexa in the bar. 

She craned her neck, trying to see clues to their location through the window. A gas station was across the road, right next to another motel. On the right, cars and trucks whizzed past on a highway.  There were signs, but too far away to read.

Clarke turned back again to look at Lexa. Her expression was smooth while she slept and Clarke was loath to wake her - but they had to get back to LA. She was meant to be visiting her dad and Bellamy had his crisis with Octavia needing sense knocked into her.

She stepped towards the bed but had to stop when her head started spinning. She shut her eyes but it continued, like her brain was on a permanent rollercoaster loop inside her head. It subsided and she inched her eyes open. She took another step towards the bed and reached down to press one hand against Lexa’s arm.

“Lex-”

Lexa’s eyes flashed open and she jerked away from Clarke’s touch with a gasp.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Clarke said, lifting both hands up. “It’s just me.”

Lexa’s head shifted from side to side, searching. The panic in her eyes morphed into confusion.

“Where are we?”

“You don't remember?”

Lexa pushed the sheets to the side and jumped out of the bed. She started to turn but stopped, pressing a palm to her forehead.

“I remember dancing… I think a guy bought us drinks?”

She lifted her other hand, frowning down at it. Blood crusted on two of her knuckles and a purple bruise was already bulging up. A flash of memory returned to Clarke of a man attempting to usher her outside before Lexa appeared and confronted him.

“He spiked our drinks,” Clarke mumbled, suddenly feeling even more nauseous than before. There was no other reason for her memories being so blurry. She lowered herself down on the bed and Lexa sat next to her. 

“Did anything-”

“No. I don’t think so. I think…” Clarke eyes Lexa’s swollen hand. “I think you broke his nose?”

Lexa brushed two fingers over Clarke’s palm, drawing attention to her own bruise even as the touch rose goosebumps on Clarke’s back. 

“I think you helped.” 

Their eyes met and Clarke became conscious of how little space there was between them. She pulled her hand up and away from Lexa’s touch to examine it then lowered it to her lap.

“But how did we get here?” Lexa asked.

Clarke held her phone out, scrolling back up through the texts with Bellamy. The battery icon was on its last bar.

“So we left the bar because of the douche… and then-”

“I wanted to go to the Grand Canyon,” Lexa blurted out, her eyes widening. “We got on a bus. You fell asleep halfway there. I found us a motel.”

Clarke side-eyed Lexa, her heart beating against her chest as she searched for any sign that something else had happened last night. There was no sign of it on Lexa - and they were both clothed. Lexa’s eyes met hers and Clarke realised with a jolt that she had been doing the same. Lexa averted her gaze - then lurched to her feet without warning. The mattress sprung up, knocking Clarke sideways

“But - I can’t be here right now. I can’t be, I need to get back to the cafe.”

She shoved both hands in her pockets then reached over to yank back the sheets. Her phone was nestled under the pillow but when she leaned past Clarke to jab at the screen, nothing happened.

“It’s dead. What time is it?”

“Just after ten.”

“Fuck!”

“Hey, hey!” Clarke reached out for both of Lexa’s hands, gripping them gently. “It’s okay. Indra’s there, right?”

“Yes. She’ll be worried-”

“I’ll tell Bellamy to go round.” Even as she said it Clarke wondered if that was a good idea. He would be hungover and with the news about Octavia, he probably wouldn’t be too gracious about it. She text him anyway, with Lexa watching. Her lips were pressed tightly together.

_ Low battery. We’re on our way back! Pls can you go to cafe and tell Indra that Lexa’s ok? _

“Okay, let’s go. If we got a bus here we can get a bus back.”

Lexa nodded, snatching up her phone and rooting around under the bed. She pocketed her wallet and passed the other to Clarke. Clarke pulled hers open and frowned inside.

“Don’t suppose you remember how much the bus cost?” she asked, pulling out a single ten-dollar bill. 

Lexa shook her head, opening up her own wallet to reveal thirteen dollars. They looked at each other.

“Credit card?”

Lexa shook her head. 

“It might be enough for one ticket. You could get back to the cafe-”

“I’m not leaving you behind, Clarke.”

“I can hitchhike. I’ve done it before.”

Lexa lifted her eyebrows and Clarke smirked across at her.

“We’ll both hitchhike,” Lexa said, walking past Clarke and opening the door of the motel room. A wave of heat pushed itself into the room. “It’s safer.” 

Clarke followed her out of the room and down the steps to reception. The man there didn’t even glance their way when she dropped the keycard in a box on the desk, but a sign above his head finally gave away their location. At least they were still in California.

“Barstow. We’re only a couple hours away,” Clarke said. They exited the motel together and stood on the side of the road. Further up the road was a bus stop but Clarke turned away from it and stuck her thumb out. Together they started walking back in the direction of LA, the sun already fiercely beating down. How long did it normally take to find a ride when hitchhiking? Her only experience was when Lexa had picked her up, but she doubted that speed was normal.

“If you don’t think hitchhiking is safe, why did you pick me up?” Clarke asked. “You didn’t know me. I could have been dangerous.”

“You could have been. But I know how to defend myself. And I didn’t want you to be in trouble if the next person who stopped wasn’t nice.”

Clarke lowered her thumb slightly, turning to peer at Lexa.

“That’s why you stopped?”

“Of course. Why else would I stop?”

Clarke shrugged. Her tummy rolled in waves of something that might be nausea and might be butterflies. “I don’t know. I’d never really thought about it.”

Her phone buzzed. 

**_Only reason I’m doing this is so you owe me. Get Lexa to tell Octavia she can’t work there!_ **

Clarke tilted the screen away from Lexa so she couldn’t see and tapped out two texts - one to Bellamy and one to Octavia. 

_ Yelling is not going to fix this, Bellamy. I’ll be there just after midday. _

_ Octavia, why are you quitting? Bellamy’s losing it _

“Will he tell Indra I’m okay?”

“Yes. He’s on his way now. 

**_Where the fuck did you go Clarke? 2 hours?!_ **

**_You should be here helping me not on a fucking date!_ **

Clarke rolled her eyes, not bothering to reply to either text. Lexa caught her gaze and tilted her head slightly with a questioning expression.

“Just Bellamy being a moron.”

“Octavia said something about him last night. That he-”

A honk cut off Lexa and moments later a car rolled up alongside them. A pair of elderly women peered out, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other in a colourful flowered shirt.

“Where are you heading, girls?” asked the lady with the cowboy hat.

“LA.”

The other woman jerked a thumb at the back seats with a broad grin. “Hop in.”

“Thank you, so much,” Clarke said, pulling open the door for Lexa. Her phone started buzzing again and she pulled it out of her pocket. Bellamy was calling her. 

She hit the red circle to end the call. After a second of hesitation she pressed the power button as well, turning the screen to black, and climbed in after Lexa. 


End file.
